The Whimsical World of T.L. Gray

Listen to What I'm Saying

2012-01-27T09:29:00.001-05:00

Don't you just hate it when you say something over, and over, and over, and over, and still find that no one has heard anything you've said? I think it's one of the worst common traits found over a majority of people on this planet, including me. I'd like to say that I always comprehend, consider and understand what everyone tells me, but I don't. I only hope that a majority of the time, I do.

Here is a case in point: Those of you who know me, follow my blog, work with me on various projects, sit next to me at church or is a part of my writer's club understands that (or at least you should) I've decided to become a full-time writer. I've said as much at least two dozen different ways. I've tried to make it plain that this isn't my "hobby", something I've decided to do in my "spare time", or something that's just a passing phase because I want to see my name on the cover of a book. I closed my business, sacrificed my material possessions, re-arranged my life and priorities to accommodate my decision and choose to walk every day among the uncertain to make it happen. Yet, it never fails that at least once a week I come across someone in one of my various circles who asks me what I'm going to do for employment, or if I could help them do something since I'm not working anymore and have all this available time, or if I have thought about what I'm going to do next. I feel like responding with a sarcastic remark in Bill Engvall fashion, followed by the phrase - "Here's your sign!"

I understand that most people's world revolves around themselves; I'm the center of my own universe too. However, just plain out ignoring EVERYTHING someone's said for the past couple of years is really pushing the edge of being extremely rude and condescending. It makes me think - "Wow, this person thinks about me for almost a millisecond, which is a few milliseconds too little to actually learn anything." Why do they choose to waste their breath asking me the same ole' dumb questions? They'd save a whole minute of their life just walking on by without saying anything. I don't even need a smile, a wave or a nod.

Being on the receiving end of such blatant disregard, has made me think about my own actions. So, this morning I say, "I'm sorry". I apologize to all those I have not paid attention or listened to what you've had to say. I can't promise that I'll always hear you, but I can promise I'll try.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Milledgeville Misfit Give-A-Way - Hop

2012-01-26T17:04:00.001-05:00

http://iamareadernotawriter.blogspot.com/2012/01/young-adult-paranormal-activity.html

I will be giving away a free copy of my latest young-adult novel "Milledgeville Misfit" as part of the Give-A-Way Hop hosted February 24th - 28th.

Check back here for more details closer to the HOP start date.

CCWC January 2012 Newsletter

2012-01-26T09:39:00.001-05:00

Precious Time

2012-01-26T09:03:00.001-05:00

One of the biggest misconceptions I’ve run across these past few years is that: people who don’t punch the clock from 9 to 5 have what is known as “free time”. The truth of the matter - those that work from home are usually time-pressed. They are go-getters, creators, inventors, visionaries, entrepreneurs, and world changers. Their day doesn't end at five o'clock, their on 24 – 7.

For me, when I made the decision to put writing as my top priority, my time devoted to my craft became precious; something to guard, something to treasure. There are all kinds of things, including “good” things, that want to steal that time. I have to protect it or else it'll get away from me. There is always a noble cause to support around every corner, but I'm only one person and can't do everything. There is only 24 hours in a day for me, just as it is for everyone else. I must prioritize those things that are most important to me and what I feel is the path laid down before me by God. If not, I can be busy doing "good" things, and miss what I was meant to do.

Working from home requires a lot of discipline. You can be easily distracted and lose your focus. It takes a disciplined person to wake up every morning and focus their attention on their destined target. It also takes a disciplined person to not allow their feelings to lead them, because feelings can waiver and get you off the path.

I exercise my body first thing in the morning. The first 15 min. is really more of a struggle between my body and my mind than anything else. If I only exercise when it felt good, I would never step on the treadmill. Yet I keep my target of good health and a balanced weight before me and push through my feelings. I must apply the same principles to my life as a writer, or it'll get lost by the wayside. The world as a whole doesn't understand this concept, because writing often doesn't produce the financial fruit of a 9 to 5, but it can. Thank God I don't have to please the world, because I'm at the point that I could never imagine doing anything else.

So the next time you ask me to do something and I turn you down, don't take it personally. It's not that I don't deem your cause worthy, I just deem my time more precious.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Author Appearances

2012-01-24T09:21:00.000-05:00

February 2012

Book-Signing
Neva Lomason Public Library
710 Rome Street
Carrollton, GA 30117
Friday, February 10, 2012
6:30pm - 8:00pm

Book-Signing
Dog River Library
6100 Hwy 5
Douglasville, GA 30135
Saturday, February 25, 2012
11:00am - 1:00pm

March 2012

Book-Signing
Horton's Books
410 Adamson Square
Carrollton, GA 30117
Saturday, March 24. 2012
12:00pm - 2:00pm

May 2012

Book-Signing
Underground Books
102 Alabama Street
Carrollton, GA 30117
Saturday, May 5, 2012
12:00 pm - 2:00 pm

Don't Be Hatin'

2012-01-24T09:13:00.000-05:00

One of the things I can't quite understand when it comes to authors is why there is sometimes jealousy and animosity between writers. We're not in competition with one another. There are plenty of books to go around. Stories have been told long before we arrived, and will continue long after we're gone. If anything, we should support one another.

What benefit could there possibly be for me to know or associate with a failed writer? I can't think of anything. However, there are endless possibilities of knowing and associating with a successful one. Not only out of the goodness of my heart should I encourage, inspire and support my fellow authors, but it's in MY best interest to do so. I don't have to LOVE them, actually, I don't even have to LIKE them on a personal level, to support and wish them the best in their endeavors.

Still, from time to time, I come across that beleaguered and jealous writer who not only wishes for my failure, but will go out of their way to help support it. They’ll spread slander, malice and pray to the gods of destruction to place every obstacle and roadblock in my way. I feel sorry for them. They’ve already lost, and are already defeated, regardless of their book sales. This defeat may not reflect in their book sales (even a snake could sell a book) – but as a decent human being.

I choose to separate myself from those who only have negative thoughts, actions and intentions. Instead, I choose to surround myself with dreamers, artists and people who desire to share their gifts and talents with the world. I may, or may not, hit the New York Times Best-Seller list, but I’m already a success , because I’ve surrounded myself with successful people.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Please Yourself

2012-01-23T10:00:00.000-05:00

Have you ever tried to do something, yet everyone around you didn't understand your actions or motives? While many people express their support, their actions don't necessarily live up to their confession? What do you say in those circumstances? What do you do? One thing you can't do - is give up.

Sometimes I find myself pulled between two worlds. I love each side equally, that neither fully. Don't get me wrong, I'm not straddling the fence. I find the place I inhabit, is a place of my own choosing; not theirs. Let me try to explain this more plainly - I am a writer, a scribe, a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a Christian, a deacon, a leader, a friend, a business partner, a marketer, a dreamer, and yet I must strive to find a balance between all of those positions. Often times some of the expectations of these positions oppose others, not that they have to.

We are complex people, living in a complex world. Each of us is an individual with their own ideals, beliefs, and expectations. But I have learned over the past few years, I can't change or manipulate my actions to satisfy someone else’s expectations. Not everybody is going to like my choices. Not everybody is going to support my decisions. Not everybody is going to think I'm making the right judgments for myself. But the bottom line is: these are my choices, decisions, and ideals. The only person I must please - is me.

I’d love to make everybody happy. But I'm not fool enough to believe I can. However there is one person I can strive every day to please – myself. Just as I have discovered truths about love, I'm learning the same thing applies to peace and happiness. I have to first be filled with peace and happiness, before I can share it with the world. If I'm truly happy with myself, then I can be happy for you. If I can walk in peace, then I can offer peace. We can only share what is in the overflow. If we have nothing, we have nothing to give.

So today I encourage you, do what makes you happy. But remember: though everything is permissible not everything is beneficial. Sometimes we deceive ourselves into thinking something or someone will make us happy, when happiness is truly a simple decision. It’s not found in a gift, an object, another person, or a possession; it’s a state of mind.

Till next time,

T. L. Gray

Never Stop Learning

2012-01-20T09:12:00.001-05:00

I'm what you might call a self-learner. While I love instruction, I get the best education by hand-on application. I do read directions, but I like to 'use' the item, program or machine WHILE I read the instructions. That way my hands learn at the same time as my brain.

This morning, I am learning to use my new program "Dragon". While things are slow going at the moment, with each practical use it gets a little easier. With this program, the biggest thing I have to learn is how to speak properly. I guess you could say the lesson would be that with practice comes perfection. My typing and writing skills are above average, but my speaking etiquette could use a lot of work.

The last couple of weeks I have been in editing mode. While I scanned the pages of my manuscript, I searched for every grammar, typo and punctuation error. But that was only one step of the process. Today, I am focused on structure, formatting and font selection. While I have grasped a general understanding of the word processor I use, I realize there is so much more that I need to learn. Today I am challenged with the subject of headers and footers. I know that the only way I am going to learn how to properly use these options are to play around with the program. I have to get that hands-on experience; just like using this Dragon program.

The bottom line of what I'm trying to say is - we never need to stop learning. If we ever get to the point that we think we know everything, we’ve learned nothing. There is always something new to discover, a new skill to inherit, a new understanding to be revealed. I know many people in this world want to jump to the conclusion, the solution, or the end to receive the fruits of their labor, but I find the true treasure is in the trials and tribulations of our journey - not the end. The pride that comes from a personal accomplishment is so much more rewarding than a gift. While we may struggle in our quest, the payoff is even greater.

Never stop learning. You never know what you'll discover tomorrow.

Till next time,

~T. L. Gray

Don't Give Up - Keep Running/Keep Standing

2012-01-19T09:37:00.000-05:00

Giving up is the easiest thing in the world to do; it takes the least amount of energy and releases the largest amount of pressure. However, while everything I do is permissible, not everything is for my own benefit. While I am free to give up (I have the power to choose), doing so isn't always for my good - even if I'm wrong.

Standing fast, holding out, and refusing to move is hard, especially when it comes to standing still. I might not think standing in one spot, refusing to budge and keeping my eyes focused straight ahead is easy (compared to digging, shoveling and barreling through), but I'm finding it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I'm also discovering it takes a lot more faith to stand still than it does to move. My mind is constantly bombarded with questions of, "What if I'm wrong?", "What if I'm making a mistake?", "What if I'm supposed to be doing something else?" and "Am I wasting my life and time?" Yet, I can't move based on what I think and feel (the two major contributors that lead to confusion).

My thoughts can be deceptive and my feelings can change with every shift in the wind. The only way to make it across the finish line is to put aside thoughts that want to take me out of my lane and send me in the wrong direction, and push through the aches, pains and fatigue. I must relegate my breathing, concentrate on the goal I want to achieve and push forward - even when I have to stand still.

So, what if I'm wrong? What if the path I've decided to take is the wrong path? The only thing I can do is continue with the quest I'm currently on until I receive a clear directive to shift, but not based on shifting thoughts and feelings. Perseverance means to push on in the midst of opposition. Without opposition, there's no perseverance. Without options there's no choice. Without determination and a desire to win, there's no victory. Without other runners, there's no competition.

Press on. Continue to stand, even if you don't think or feel like it. The only way you're truly going to know if you're in the right race is to finish it. And if you are wrong ... so what? You've at least accomplished something and have a more clear idea of what race to run next. And if you are right ... you've won!

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating Review

2012-01-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

5.0 out of 5 stars Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenage Dating is a "10"!, January 16, 2012

Laura L. Kirk - See all my reviews

This review is from: Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating! (Paperback)

I read Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenage Dating to my mentally challenged, twenty-one-year old daughter. She absolutely loved it! She laughed and enjoyed all of Keezy's zany antics! It's hard to find a book these days that contains down to earth, moral advice written in a very stylist and contemporary voice. You love Keezy immediately, and you care about what she has to say. I had no reservations about reading this to my daughter since Keezy's advice was tastfully delivered. She covers a plethora of subjects important to today's teenager. No rocks left unturned, so to speak. I would recommend this to anyone with a teenage daughter! This book would be great for book clubs, church youth groups, or any venue where teenage girls congregate. Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenage Dating is a "10" all around!

Thank you, Laura! That was a wonderful review.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

P.s. Happy Birthday, Meagan.

Do You Believe in the Impossible?

2012-01-16T11:11:00.000-05:00

Most of us are quick to reply with a resounding "absolutely" when asked if we believe that all things are possible, yet our words often don't match the truth of our confession. I've even convinced myself that I fervently believe in the impossible... until I really think about it. What I've discovered after careful evaluation is that I believe more in the idea of the impossible as it weighs against the improbable.

I believe in sowing and reaping - that if you're a kind person you'll receive kindness, and if you're friendly you'll be surrounded by lots of friends. But if you're selfish, mean and hateful you'll be surrounded by those of like kind. I believe if you're giving of yourself (gifts, money, possessions, inspiration, dreams, talents, time) to others in lack, you'll never be without. But do I REALLY believe that? I think I believe in the idea of the concept more than the actual execution. My experiences in life doesn't 't fit securely into that little box. Don't get me wrong, I like the box. I'd love to live inside that box and experience all that it has for me. Don't misunderstand me - I believe the concept of sowing and reaping is the Truth - a natural law just as effective as the law of gravity; the precedence is clearly set and the evidence is clearly evident - it's my belief that has wavered. This also goes for my belief that with God nothing is impossible.

The biggest hindrance I believe when it comes to the impossible is the boxes in which we place ourselves. If you don't believe you live in a box, you've deceived yourself already. It's in our human nature to create the ideas of what is right, wrong, truth, lie, fact or fiction. We sort these out in our beliefs and place them into tightly wrapped boxes and organize them neatly on our life shelves. This goes for all humanity, not just the religious. When we are faced with the exception to the rules we've accepted, we falter and our foundations are shaken and some of our boxes lose their lids or our walls crumble. So, what do we do... we build more boxes. They may look different than the first ones, but they're still boxes. Believing that EVERYTHING is possible is to live outside the box; out where it's uncomfortable, where it's improbable and where you'll come against those who are still inside.

Still don't believe you live inside a box? Let's play a game called "What Would God Do?" Most of us just created the biggest box we've ever seen, based on our own beliefs and ideas. We're pretty intimate on our knowledge of God and sure of how He would act - having read His exploits in the Good Book.

Now ask yourselves these simple questions:

Did the people in Noah's day believe God would flood the world? He never had before, given no precedent and surely He wouldn't kill the very species He created. This was not a belief that fit in their little boxes, therefore they saw no need for Noah and his ark. Only Noah thought outside the box and built what had never been imagined to escape the improbable.
Did Abraham's family believe God would have him leave everything he'd ever known to go to a place he'd never been? Would God then ask Abraham to sacrifice his son, one born of a promise and a miracle during his old age? Again there was no precedence to believe such impossible things - but only Abraham believed outside the box - he believed in the miracle of birth and the hope of deliverance when all natural sense compiled of the boxes of logic told him different. He moved; he climbed the mountain and he bound his son.
Did the Israelite believe Moses when he told them God would deliver them from the bondage of slavery out of Egypt and provide for them? Did they believe in the ten plagues, the parting of the Red Sea and the daily provision of Manna? God had never moved like that before - again there was no precedence. The Israelite didn't believe God either - they didn't believe the daily miracles they saw with their own eyes because it was all outside their boxes. Their boxes caused them to wander in the wilderness for over 40 years. Other than Caleb and Joshua - only their children and grandchildren entered the promised land because they refused to act on what they claimed to believe.

Still believe in the impossible? No matter what faith you believe or what religion you follow, even those who choose to follow none, the only things you truly believe are the things do; the things you act upon. If you believed in the impossible, you would do the impossible. That's the only way to know; that's the only evidence available. Everything else is speculation and supposition - no matter how passionately you feel about it.

Perhaps next time when someone asks you if you believe that all things are possible, you'll step back and examine yourself and see how often you step out of your box and into the unknown and experience the impossible before you answer. I hope your answer is still "absolutely".

Milledgeville Misfit Book Signing

2012-01-13T11:02:00.000-05:00

Characterization

2012-01-12T10:33:00.000-05:00

When I'm writing a character in one of my novels, I try not to form them into the idea of who I think they should be. While I may have some idea, their true personalities emerge as I get to know them. If I try to force my idea, eventually the true personality will conflict and the plot will form holes. This is a common mistake I see among many writers, myself included.

When I'm writing a new story - I try to brainstorm as much as possible of what I envision for the plot, but I try to keep the main ideas and characterizations in various shades of gray. If I color the story or characters in too much I end up with a huge brown mess. We all know what a stinky situation that would be.

When I'm reading a story - the main factor that keeps me glued to the page is a simple fact of whether or not I actually care for the characters. If by the second or third paragraph I have not already been introduced to a character and can sympathize, feel empathy or outright dislike, most likely I will put the book down and never pick it up again. While there are some great tomes that are action oriented, that's not my preference.

I love Harry Potter because I love Harry Potter and I hate Lord Voldemort. I get bored with The Lord of the Rings because I do not care about a ring or the salvation of a bunch of people I know nothing about. I love Eragon because Paolini allowed me the privilege of being right there beside Eragon as he transformed from a simple farm boy to a fearless dragon-rider. I won’t even mention what Cinda Chima Williams did for the the Demon King with Han, or my how I hoped passionately for Elizabeth Bennett to capture Austen’s Mr. Darcy, or hopelessly fell in love with Dumas’ Edmond Dantes. These stories are great because their characters are great.

Don't get me wrong, I love action. But what good is a great battle without a passionate reason? Just to win is not enough. Sacrifice without heart-felt purpose is meaningless.

As you think about your story this morning, think about the heart of your characters. What do they feel? What do they fear? What are their hopes, their dreams, and their passions? What makes them unique? What drives them? What angers them, makes them lose control, and makes them compromise their values? These are the aspects that draw me into a story.

Till next time,

~T. L. Gray

Deadlines & Excellence

2012-01-11T08:51:00.001-05:00

There are some positive and negatives to everything in this world, including deadlines. Having a deadline gives me a clear and precise expectation and a time-frame to work within to meet them, while struggling to also maintain a spirit of excellence in my work.

Deadlines and expectations also gives Murphy the same thing. He tends to work overtime to do, send and lend a hand to anything he can think to knock me off course, tempting me to rush and give only partial effort. I must persevere, push forward, and not allow anything to give me to pause or an opportunity to present less than my best.

Today I sit here with a clear deadline and directive from my publisher to complete the latest edits for Milledgeville Misfit. Half my face is smiling; the other half shares a grimace, yet on I strive for excellence. I'm reminded of a proverb: "Do you see a man who excels in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men." Again, I have such great expectations.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Great Expectations

2012-01-09T10:09:00.000-05:00

I know that not everybody is the same in this world. We're as different from one another as there are various shades of color. However, we're also similar in the fact that though we're different hues, we all belong in the Color family. In our variances we each see the world around us differently, handle problems in a diverse way, and think about things in countless variations. Some of us are pragmatic, while others are very carefree. I’m more on the pragmatic side. Though I have a huge imagination and believe in the impossible, I tend to side with plausible 9 out of 10 times. That sounds conflicting coming from a fiction novelist.

Being pragmatic as I am, I often stress the importance of personal responsibility in every aspect of life; faith, politics, relationships, career, finance and etc. I strongly believe that we should look to our self before we start pointing fingers at someone else; that we should focus on our own maturity, our own responsibility and our own actions before we even consider judging someone or something else. I believe self-inspection and a little bit of honest evaluation would fix 99% of the problems we all face today. Change starts within, and then moves outward. Nothing irks me more than sympathetics, empathizers and enablers. This includes how I think and treat myself.

Sometimes I feel so weighed down by all the responsibility I carry on my shoulders; I want to be a child again and allow everything to be someone else’ responsibility. Of course, with a lack of responsibility comes a lack of freedom. I’d rather carry a burden than be bound. So I trudge on, facing all that life throws at me to the best of my ability.

The past few years have been extremely hard. I’ve been going through a growing process. I took a stand and stepped out in blind faith to be led and directed into the land of the unknown. I never knew what the day held for me or what difficulties I’d have to face. The only thing I knew was the direction I was go; all other details were obscure. Many days I found a brick wall standing in my way. As much as I wanted to veer to the left or right, to change course and even run back to what I knew and was familiar, determination ruled the day and I stood – even if I couldn’t move one inch forward.

As a person of productivity, a hard worker, and a fighter, standing still when everything moved around me, was the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. My friends, my family, my colleagues and many of my fellow writers couldn’t understand the reasons for my decisions. None of it made any natural sense. The natural thing to do was change course, adapt to the changes, and keep moving. The supernatural thing to do was to stand, have faith, and refuse to allow the surrounding circumstances and my feelings dictate my decisions. I didn’t have any answers. All I had was one direction – one instruction –one objective. Believe me – I was scared and bombarded with doubt on a daily basis. I wanted to please my family, friends, colleagues and co-workers, and constantly felt like I was letting everyone down by my indecision to move – to do something.

Well, this morning in my time of prayer and meditation I’ve had a breakthrough. The wall in front of me has crumbled. My time to move forward has come and I can’t express the excitement that is bubbling within me. My mind has only comprehended a small portion of that excitement, but as the days ahead open to me and the ‘good’ of my harvest becomes evident, I’m sure that excitement will only grow. It’s easy for me to expect the hardships, the rebukes, the chastisements and the growing pains of developing into maturity, but I had forgotten that there is also a harvest, a blessing, a favor, a joy and a desire to give good gifts. Just as it delights me to give my children the desires of their hearts, so does my Father desire to do the same for me. It’s my time. It’s my season. I can’t wait to enjoy every single moment. I’m so excited to receive what’s in store for me. I plan to relish every moment because I know it delights my Father to see me enjoy the gifts He gives me. I have such great expectations.

Getting Back Into the Groove - Random Thoughts

2012-01-06T13:21:00.000-05:00

While I love all the merriment of the holiday season, I love getting back into some semblance of routine even more. I'm a creature of habit - and this coming from someone that doesn't have a set routine. Every day is a new experience, a new test, filled with new requirements, expectations and plans. But it's also filled doing what I love - writing, reading, marketing, encouraging, blogging, editing, updating, scheduling, meeting new people, meeting old friends and surrounding myself with those I love and admire (not necessarily both at the same time). Many of these days I spend most of the time alone with my imagination, but that's okay - that's a great place to be too.

Even though I'm over-weight by the world's standards, I find that I'm happy with who I am and what I weigh. I'm healthy, I'm active, I'm mobile. I get up every morning (well - at least 5 days a week) and tackle my exercise routine with the same zeal as a medieval warrior. While the first twenty minutes are painful and sluggish - the adrenaline rush of the last forty minutes is worth every bit of the effort - as well as the pound or two drop at the end of the week. I'm multitasking - killing two birds with one stone by reading the latest novel on my Kindle as I burn calories on the treadmill. This helps me take my mind off the strain of my muscles as I exercise. I also love taking a long walk as I enjoy the beauty and majesty of nature.

Blogging is my brain exercise. No matter the subject - the practice gets all my synapses sparking, sharpens my vocabulary and speeds my typing so that when I start tackling the editing beast of my novels, I'm wielding writing weapons and stand ready for battle. Writing is like any defensive measure - it requires much practice and application. I rarely suffer from 'writer's block' because I never stop wielding my writing sword.

Not all writers are blessed and successful the first time out the gate like a Stephanie Meyer or J.K. Rowling. Most of us have to do the majority of our own marketing, selling and promotion. This takes a LOT of time and effort. You've got to really believe in yourself. You don't have to know everything; believe me - you'll learn as you go - but you do have to have a determination of steel. Never give up.

And a final thought for the day: Not everyone measures success in the same degree. Some writers would measure success in royalties, others in books sold. If I've been able to inspire one person to chase their dreams, take a second look at what they thought they believed or understood, or sparked one imagination to believe in themselves and what they can accomplish, then I'm a total success. THAT is what I strive for on a daily basis. THAT is the foundation to everything I write.

Those are some random thoughts for the day. I hope you've been able to find at least one bit of encouragement from some of it.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Grocery Store Gripe

2012-01-05T14:23:00.000-05:00

Standing in line at the grocery store this morning I overheard a conversation between this young couple that made me want to cringe. It took only a few moments for them to really cause my blood to boil. I didn't realize how angry I had become until I arrived home and found myself vigorously scrubbing out the refrigerator. I always clean when I'm angry. I took a deep breath, calmly put away the groceries in my freshly clean refrigerator and sat down to have a hot cup of coffee.

As I meditated and focused on all the good things in my life, I felt tension leave my shoulders and the heaviness of anger melt away. I then took a stab and pondered the reason I had became so upset in the first place. I'm not twenty-five anymore - full of passion and energy; able to fly off the handle on a moments whim; being carried away by my emotions. I'm 40. I'm more mature, more grown-up, more in control of my emotions. At least that's what I tell myself.

So, why did I get so angry? I'm not going to go into everything this young couple had to say, but I will tell you the gist of the argument. It was full of selfish whining, constant complaining, back-stabbing bickering, outright blaming everyone but themselves, lack of appreciation and unbridled angst. In other words... hypocrisy dripped off their lips like sweet honey - sending a stab through my patience like a hot knife through butter.

I understand the world's not fair. Crap happens all the time. However, in my 'old age' I've come to discover that most of the time the crap we deal with in our lives we brought on ourselves. How we feel about ourselves is our doing as well. Sure, OTHER people do stuff to us; they use us, abuse us, talk bad about us, take advantage of us, and outright are mean... BUT - THEIR actions don't dictate who we are or how we respond. OUR actions make all the difference.I've learned to quit judging people by the words they say alone. I watch them, study them and see what they do. Because many say one thing, but their actions prove contrary to their words - proving their own deception.

I had to stand in line for about fifteen minutes and listen to two young people complain about how horrible their 'strict' middle class parents were because they wouldn't allow them to do anything (I'm a strict parent so I'm assuming they couldn't drink, smoke, and cuss like a sailor, had to show respect to their elders, say "please" and "thank you" and refrain from having wanton sex with everyone that looked at them as their hormones raged) and MADE them go to school (perhaps being stupid, illiterate and lazy was the better course - seems like that forced education and the strict rules didn't do them any good). From their colorful language, I dared to guess they didn't have a drug problem (meaning - being dragged to church), either. We all know how horrible and abusive it is to believe in a power and understanding higher than our own, that encourages us to be obedient, good, kind, merciful, and giving. Heck, believing in Magicians, Vampires, Celebrities and Aliens is hard enough, and I don't even have to mention how exhausting it is believing in NOTHING and that everything in existence is a big bang of an accidental mistake. I mean, Oh my Amoeba! If there's no God then we've only got ourselves to blame. How is that going to work when we're too busy blaming everyone else?

We blame our parents, we blame our government, we blame our teachers, we blame our co-workers and fellow students, and be blame religion. But, if we're a cosmic accident - how can we blame God? I mean, the world is a mess because of THEM, whoever they are. We're just lowly victims of their bad decisions. Surely WE'RE not to blame. I still haven't figured out how to separate "THEM" from "US", but I'm sure I'll discover the formula soon enough.

Needless to say, as the conversation progressed and the young woman constantly ignored the crying baby in her arms and the young man kept putting back various items his toddler kept picking off the shelves, their angst only grew in passion. Next in the blame line came politicians and the issue of paying taxes. The young man stated that he was really worried about the government soon forcing people to take drug tests when applying for welfare. He expressed how that was a form of slavery and that those food stamps and welfare checks were owed to the people because they were Americans, even if they're here illegally; that it was the government's responsibility to take care of the poor. The young woman replied that these new welfare laws was the government over-reaching it's authority; that it was none of their business what a person did in the privacy of their own home. I wondered, which was it; too much or too little of government interference? They want the government to take care of them (feed them, clothe them, and provide medical help for them), but then also mind their own business (don't tell them what they can do behind closed doors). Don't they eat, dress and throw-up behind closed doors?

I'm not even going to get into what they had to say about paying taxes and grumbling how it's not fair the young man didn't qualify for unemployment benefits having only worked for three weeks at his last job. Let me just say I blushed at their vehement expressions of unfairness. I couldn't quite understand their train of thought until their $348.74 grocery total was rendered by the cashier and they handed over their Food Stamp card and WIC vouchers. Of course they couldn't pay for their cigarettes and beer with those, so they had to pay cash in a separate transaction. I'd venture a wager they think it's wrong and unethical to make them pay for those items; that's a targeted and prejudiced tax against the poor.

The young girl griped about the slowness of the elderly bagger, chastising him from putting boxed items in the same bag as her cheese, and never even looked up at the smiling cashier who handed the young girl her receipt and politely said, "Thank You". As the complaining couple pulled away from the check-out I said, "You're welcome." The young man scrunched his brows at me and wrinkled his nose as if he smelled something putrid. I'm sure he had no idea what I meant. He probably thought I was thanking him for loudly sharing his enlightened views.

I knew no thanks was coming from them. What should they be thanking ME for, you ask? Well seeing as how I dutifully pay my taxes, and have done so for many, many years, I essentially bought their groceries, including their beer and alcohol. More than likely I am currently or will be in the near future paying for their children's education, health and welfare. I'm also pretty sure that neither of them realized when they were vehemently putting down Uncle Sam and rattling on about their entitlements, that Uncle Sam stood right behind them.

Unless it isn't clear, let me state the obvious. I'm Uncle Sam. It is MY (and all the other Uncle Sams out there) hard-earned money that pays for all these entitlement and social programs. I pay for the roads, schools, police and fire departments, our military, our hospitals and even our politicians. So if you don't like me, want to steal and take advantage of me, complain about me...THEN STOP driving on my roads, don't send your kids to my schools, don't call my police when you're in trouble, don't expect my fire department to save your house or life, don't go to my hospitals, don't accept my hand outs, go fight your own wars and don't vote.

I'm also a strict parent. I care about my children and their well-being. I set down rules and regulations BECAUSE I care and want the best possible life for them. I make them go to school and study hard to receive the best education they can obtain.

Worst of all... I'm a Christian. I believe in something or someone higher than myself; a being that loves me and my family and cares about me and wants me to have the best possible life (sounds like a strict parent to me.) My children are not babies anymore and are old enough to make their own decisions about God. Some believe as I do, some don't. It's their choice - and I thank God that I live in a country where they have the freedom to make that choice.

I'm not a rich fat heiress sitting on her gold throne. I'm a middle-class mother who has worked hard her whole life, who has struggled in a man's world, who has studied hard, and has a giving heart. I feed the hungry, I care about the animals, environment and future and do what I can, when I can. I visit the elderly and believe my elders have earned my respect, and support their needs. My family is honest, hard-working and diligent, yet due to the high cost of living we can't afford but very few groceries a week, very limited amount of gas for our fuel economy vehicles - often car pooling, and had to cut out health insurance altogether because the new HMO policy (thanks to Obama Care) increased so much we couldn't afford the extra $80 a month to be taken out of our paychecks. What good is the additional health coverage for my 21 year old son when can't afford coverage at all for anyone? We don't go to the movies much anymore, we hardly ever go out to eat and we buy our clothes at the discount stores or wait till we can catch an extreme sale. Unless something changes, I'm soon looking about scaling back to basic cable and losing all but basic functions on my Internet and cell phone. So forgive me if I'm just a little bit fed up with people who are constantly putting me down.

A friend of mine recently brought it to my attention about how wrong it was that the world thought it had free reign to dump on blondes with their constant prattling of blonde jokes. I'm one of them. I've always loved a good blonde joke and never really thought about how blondes might have felt. Since then, I quit telling blonde jokes and have since turned the same jokes into "TWILOCS" (Those Who Insanely Lack an Ounce of Common Sense). Yet the world seems to think it's open season to degrade fat people and Christians. I'm out of luck on both.

Well, that's my grocery store gripe for this morning. I had gotten over it, but then I wrote this blog and it all came rushing back. I suppose it's time I went and had another cup of coffee and another half hour of meditation to simmer down. After all... I'm responsible for my own attitude - or else I haven't got the memo yet from my government telling me it's their job.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Congratulations Give-A-Way Winners!

2012-01-03T09:39:00.000-05:00

Thank you to everyone who registered to win 1of 5 free copies of Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating. There were almost 400 entrants for the give-a-way. That was nearly 400 people who were interested enough in reading Keezy's story to take the time to enter, and that is the true treasure of this whole experience.

So here's a big "CONGRATULATIONS" to all the winners. Your autographed copies will be shipping out this week.

Our winners are:

Brittany Ziegmann from Rapid City, South Dakota
Lisa Fosburg from Mossy Rock, Washington
Randy Smith from Louisville, Kentucky
Stacy Robinson from Bath, Michigan
Blaire Johnson from Cape Coral, Florida

I really hope you all enjoy Keezy's adventure and are able to apply some of her advice into your everyday lives. I can't wait to read and share your reviews with my readers.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Truth and Deception

2011-12-28T14:40:00.004-05:00

In every-thing, every-decision, every-choice there is the Truth, and then there is our knowing, understanding and revelation of that truth. We can sometimes find that Truth, but often we only know small bits of it – sort of like how we only know small bits of the workings of our universe. Bottom line: we only know part of anything and to believe different is naive and a form of deception.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:9 – “For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when that which is perfect has come (the revelation of the Holy Spirit), then that which in in part will be done away. When I was child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I am known.”

When we are Born-Again of Spirit and Truth, we enter in the BEGINNING stages of our training and knowledge, being relegated to children of the Faith. We are wowed by the revelations, teachings and truths we receive, which are only first-level teachings, and begin to build our little boxes of faith – expelling anything outside our boxes. Most often these lessons consists of our dos and don’ts, our habits, our environments, our friends, our practices – what we watch, what we sow into our lives, what we cut out of our lives, and begin to see the world differently – in black and white. The problem with all this: the world isn’t black and white, nor is it various shades of gray. It’s colorful, with every hue and brilliance imaginable. With our new found fragments of revelations of Truth, come also bits of misconception and deception. Just as much as the Truth is filled with power, so too are the deceptions.

King Solomon begs for understanding and wisdom all through the book of Proverbs. Read Chapters 1-4.

There is clear warning of the dangers of simply being alive in a sinful world, and ignorance of the Truth is the weapon often used for our destruction.

When we are babes in the Faith, we are told of the might, majesty and power of God. We’re told to trust in Him, believe in Him and run to Him for our provision, safety and deliverance. As a child, we needed Him completely. However, as we grow, as we are nurtured and instructed, we MUST come to point when we have to begin exercising the doctrines, beliefs and truths we have been instructed – we MUST be tested. Until we are tested, EVERYTHING we believe is only theory.

You don’t know how many times I’ve discovered what I truly believed. I thought I fully believed and understood certain truths – was fully convinced – and knew enough Scripture to back them up. When the storms came, what I believed was washed away with the tide, and only the Truth remained. I thank God that I had been securely tied to a solid foundation or I would have been swept away. This is what happens to many people who fall away from the Faith. This is why there are more churches closing faster than bookstores; why more pastors are stepping down from their calling, and why more people walk around with these big holes in their hearts feeling a failure, dejected and disappointing. We have deceived ourselves in many areas of understanding. The Holy Spirit will purge those deceptions out of lives one way or the other – through testing, through trials and through tribulations.

I’ve noticed that most people believe God is some great magician – that if they say certain words, they go through certain motions and believe – God will move on their behalf, wiping away their troubles with a wave of His mighty hand, clean up their mess in a poof of smoke, and remove all responsibility or recourse of their actions. It’s nice as a child to believe in magic, but the God I’ve come to know doesn’t perform magic. He’s not my fairy Godfather to make all my wishes and dreams come true or have the answer to make all my problems disappear. He is my Father. He understands this world is a cruel and sinful place and because of His love for me, He doesn’t solve my problems FOR me, but makes me face them. He uses discipline, chastisement, rebuke and Truth to instruct me. (Hebrews 12:6) He encourages me, empowers me, protects me and shields me from the dangers that surround me. He equips me with the weapons I needs for protection and then trains me how to fight, defend, and strike at my enemies. He has given me the Holy Spirit – who reveals the Truth of this age. He searches all things, especially the deep things of God. No one but the Holy Spirit knows the things of God. With the Holy Spirit, we will have access to the knowledge of the Truth. The Holy Spirit compares the natural things (wisdom) of this world with the spiritual things (wisdom) of God. (1 Corinthians 2:6-16)

We deceive ourselves more than the enemy deceives us. When we falter under our own self-deception, we then blame God, the Church, or our brothers and sisters for our mistake. God NEVER promises that our lives are always going to be ‘peachy’. In fact, He constantly warns us to be ready, to be prepared, and to be equipped to stand in the midst of our storms. In Ecclesiastes 3 we learn there is a time for everything. Don’t deceive yourselves into thinking that tragedy will escape us as long as we walk the straight and narrow. On the contrary - the more mature we grow, the stronger we become - the bigger the storm.

What I’ve come to understand is this: We cannot control what happens to us; what storms we enter, by what trials we are tested, or what tribulations come upon us. No matter how faithful or how disobedient we choose to be, we have NO control. We sow seeds of life or death into our lives with every thought, decision and action we take; and we reap the consequences of those seeds – no matter how much grace and forgiveness we receive. Grace and forgiveness from repentance covers the spiritual price (spiritual death) of our actions, not the natural consequences. This is a truth; most often being the reasoning behind many of our hardships. However, we Christians are the most judgmental of one another – (as Job’s friends were of him) determining in our own partial understanding that people going through such trials and tribulations in their lives MUST be the result of sin and disobedience – a judgment of God, instead of a growing pain sent by God. We deceive ourselves with our godly knowing of good and evil into thinking we understand everything – and make judgments against one another. I’m guilty most of all. I’m LEARNING to judge fruit, not circumstances. Hating the sin and its consequences, yet loving the sinner and the available redemption.

I have seen evil happen to the righteous, and good happen to the evil. It rains on both, the good and the evil; the righteous and the sinner. I have seen good parents with rebellious children, and bad parents with faithful children; I have seen a miserable rich man, and a happy poor man. I have seen natural disasters, diseases; accidents and acts of terror take the lives of both the wicked and the righteous. I have witnessed justice and injustice. I have seen those weak of faith receive miracles, healings and deliverances stand beside the faithful who continue to suffer. I have asked “Why is it this way?” This doesn’t fit my little box. In my black and white world – the faithful always receives blessings, the victim always receives justice, and the innocent always receives freedom. But that’s not always true.

It is not what happens to us or what we experience that makes us who we are: It’s how we respond that separates us and sets us apart. It’s not material possessions, success in our careers, obedience of our children, our degree of study or our position in church or in life that distinguishes us. It’s our ability to forgive when we are abused, to give when we’ve lost everything, to stand when the world is set against us. It’s our ability to HOPE regardless of the situation, to have FAITH in a faithless society, and to LOVE in in a loveless world. What good are a Strong Tower, Fortress of Strength, Weapons of Warfare, and the Armor of God except in the midst of a battle?

To believe that our life will always be ‘peachy’ as long as we’re obedient, faithful and attend church on a regular basis (which is the elementary doctrine of most beliefs) – these being the fruit of our labors, is deceptive. While at times we will enjoy peace, prosperity and blessings, we will also experience storms, trials and tribulations – growing pains. These storms will either strengthen us or destroy us. As the Apostle Paul encouraged the Corinthians – let us not deceive ourselves. Seek the Truth and hold onto it with all our might as we bear our storms.

Open Rebuke is Better...

2011-12-14T12:20:00.000-05:00

Ever had a friend that ALWAYS agreed with you? No matter how much you swayed in your opinion or actions, they were there to lend their support, letting the words you wanted to hear fall from their lips like dripping honey?

I've had a few friends like that, and know a few acquaintances who are similar. However, they don't remain my friends for long. Not because I don't like what they have to say, on the contrary - their words are soothing, comforting and encouraging - but because flattering words are not what I NEED in my life. I need truth, honesty and a little bit of common sense.

There's a old proverb that speaks this truth much better than I can. Proverbs 26:5-6 - "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

Of course my pride and selfish ambition doesn't agree with this statement. Who likes open rebuke? Who likes to be told they're wrong or being stupid? Nobody I know, especially me. Just because I don't like it, doesn't mean I don't need it from time to time. I'd much rather know the truth of a matter than be allowed to walk around in deceit.

Telling the truth to your friends and family is a sticky mess. You run the risk of them getting angry with you, even to the point of breaking all communications. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten angry at my husband, friends or Pastors when they've brought some things to my attention in an open rebuke. I think for several years I lived in the land of "Tonya, Honey"... which was always the precursor of an oncoming rebuke. But, I can't express to you how much I appreciate and love my husband, my friends and my Pastors for being honest with me. Their actions showed me they loved and cared for me.

Being a writer is no different. When I put my first novel attempt out for critique, what I received was not what I had expected. I was waiting on the accolades and tinker-tape parade in celebration of my genius. Instead I got line edit after line edit of red-marked rebukes. I chose not to allow the critiques to stop me from doing what I loved most in the world and took a step back from myself and examined my work with a new set of eyes. I'm a much better writer today because a handful of wonderful people opted to tell me the truth instead of allowing me to embarrass myself in foolish deceit. Now, no matter how much I like my other writer friends, I return the favor with honesty. I'm not mean about it, and hopefully give more encouragement than I do rebuke, but I love them enough to tell them the truth. Remember that it's a show of love the next time a friend offers you a rebuke.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Birds of a Feather

2011-12-13T15:58:00.000-05:00

I love hanging out with other writers. There's nothing more exciting than seeing a writer's face light up when they start talking about their latest adventure, or seeing the inspiration of hope take hold of their heart and their faces begin to glow with anticipation and excitement. Nothing gets my heart pumping, my adrenaline flowing or my creativity buzzing like talking with a bunch of writers. Well, that is besides having lunch with them. We might be a bunch of nuts - but hopefully we're screwed on the right bolt.

I thank all my lunch buddies for the creativity they shared today around the big table - and the great Italian meal at La Trattoria; Tom Cook, Joann Dunn, Dawn Goodwin, Frank Rogers and Bob Covel. I want to especially thank new members Sue Lee, Lorien Forrest, Dawn Perry, Chuck Wanager and Maggie Lisiecki for their inspiration and encouragement at my end of the table. You guys are the reason I love the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club so much. I'm blessed just to be acquainted with you.

I also appreciate everyone who took the time out of their busy schedules to attend the Carrollton Creative Writer's Club meet today to attack all the tough issues that were brought to the table. I was so impressed with the professional and courteous attitudes. I'm excited about this club and know there are some big things in store for it's future.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Writing & Parenting

2011-12-12T07:09:00.000-05:00

I look at the various pictures pinned to the wall of my office and I can see how much I've changed over the years; not just physically, but in every way. I don't think the same way I used to think, and I certainly don't act the same. In many ways, I believe I've improved. I've grown in maturity, increased in wisdom and flourished in knowledge. In other ways I could use some reminders of first loves, fluttered emotions and youthful excitement. But, I'd never trade what I have now with what was. I'm not one of those people who wish they could go back because their glory days are behind them. On the contrary, I'm excited about what lay ahead of me - especially when it comes to my writing.

I love to write. I love to create new worlds, give life to new characters, and then watch as they grow, mature, conform and flourish. I find inspiration in their stories; a hope to overcome and succeed in my own story. I'd be lying if I told you that everything was always easy when it comes to exercising my skills. On the contrary, it's one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. It's a lot like parenting. I pour everything I have into my proverbial children, but they have their own lives and sometimes go in a direction I never wanted or intended. The wisdom I have in dealing with my latest children has matured greatly from the first.

Like many parents, I sometimes wish I could correct mistakes I made with my older children and manuscripts, and apply the new methods and understanding I've since gained. However, as it is with parenting and writing, I can't go back. What's done is done. What's published is published. All I can do is start from this point, apply my "now" wisdom to the current situation and state of things, and make different choices/changes/corrections. Reconciliation is never off the table. I only lack wisdom - and wisdom can be gained.

I'm proud and sincerely love every story I've ever written, no matter how full of flaws they contain. The same goes for my children. In my 40 years of existence I've learned a few things, picked up a few skills, tested the waters more times than I can count, and I'm satisfied with the knowledge that I did my best. My efforts may not have been THE best, but they were MY best.

I've come a long way as a writer and as mother. I still have a lot to learn about both, but I'm determined to enjoy the journey along the way.

Developing Individual Characters

2011-12-09T11:07:00.000-05:00

Ever picked up a book and the beginning started off with a bang, had a great concept idea, the action was well crafted to find the story quickly fizzled because all the characters were one-dimensional and had the same personality? I've ran into that one too many times of late, it seems.

Most often this happens with new writers or books that have been self-published - lending support to the main reason for finding themselves of the self-published rack with dozens of rejection letters from traditional publishers. I can only imagine the turmoil a publisher goes through reading these cardboard characters, seeing as they make me want to pull my hair out because of the blatant waste and misuse of a great idea.

I'm currently reading such a book now, read another a few weeks ago, and another one a few weeks before that. I'm not sure yet if it's part of some grand conspiracy or if perhaps they have been brought into my life to help me gain a grateful appreciation for the well developed characters I've met in the many stories before them. I suppose it's not ever day we get to understand the misunderstood Mr. Darcy, experience the maturity and growth of Harry Potter or learn to step into greatness like Eragon. Don't even get me started on George R.R. Martin's all-star cast of The Game of Thrones - where I've never met so many characters in all my life in one book and each one of them had their own distinct personality.

The stories I love most are always "character-driven". When I relate to a character, feel what they're feeling and come to care about the outcome (whether for or against - because I LOVE-TO-HATE a great villain), then that is what I call a successful story. I also believe the lack of such characteristics is the reason why these good-concept books with cardboard characters fall by the wayside.

So, for all my writer friends out there, let me give you this little piece of advice. Go back to what you're working on and read the dialogue of all your characters. Ask yourself the following questions:

Do they talk the same; use the same words, expressions and exclamations?
Do they use the same body language in the dialogue tags?
Do they 'think' the same way as the other characters - or are they different in style, speech and resolve.
Is everyone as smart as the other characters, have the same values, choose the same options and solve problems in the same manner? Giving them different clothes, hair color and eye color doesn't make them different.

Now, look around you at all your family, friends, co-workers and associates and tell me that everyone is the same. It's our differences that make us interesting. It's what we can learn from one another that make us a better person. How can we learn something new if all we see is the same?

Let your characters develop themselves. Don't force them into a mold of your making, because all you'll get is multiple versions of your conceited self. A true writer doesn't use their gift of writing to reveal themselves through their characters - but has the power to give life, color and fullness to a character of their imagination.

Please, please don't let the next book I pick up be filled with cardboard characters.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

War Wounds

2011-12-08T10:14:00.001-05:00

Have you ever found yourself smack dab in the middle of war and suffered a massive injury? Have you ever been in a situation where retreat was out of the question, but going forward was excruciatingly painful? That's the way it is sometimes - that is if you're alive and breathing. Life is a battlefield, and we're all soldiers. The war wounds we receive are not just flesh wounds, many times the most damaging injuries occur in the heart; deep into the soul. Trying to move with such deep seared injuries, exudes pain with every step. But what option do you have but to press forward?

Our first natural instinct when we obtain an injury is stand still and assess the situation and severity of our wounds. Often we are in shock, and unbelief spreads through us like a disease causing us confusion. We allow this deception to color our perception and misdiagnose our true state of being.
Our second natural instinct is to remain still in fear of increasing the damage, but that's the wrong move. When we're in the middle of a battle field - we need to seek shelter, avoid further attack and obtain medicine - seek out our Strong Fortress and our Tower of Strength. The only way we can do that is to keep moving forward; keep pressing on - even through all the pain.
Our third natural instinct is to retreat into ourselves and give up. When has ever putting our lives into the hands of our enemies ever benefit us? If our enemy allows us to live, we become their living prisoners; slaves to the things which have wounded us and will continue to wound us periodically at their choosing.

All battles leave scars known as war wounds. Who we are is not determined in how we obtain our scars, but in the decisions we make after the attack. I look back at the white faded lines of my past wounds and realize how far I've moved forward from that moment. While I was "IN" that pain and torment, I couldn't see what lay ahead of me - but I'm so glad I took the steps that brought me to where I am today.

The enemy is still dropping bombs all around me, shooting arrows at me and plotting against me, but I'm still pressing on. I'm sure I'll obtain some more war wounds until my mission is complete, but I know that other days like this - a day when I can look back and see how far I've come - are on the horizon.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Out With the Old

2011-12-07T09:41:00.001-05:00

New things, new people, new experiences are always exciting. There's just something inside us that really lights up when it comes to new things. Don't even get me started on new chapters, new shoes, new destinations, and new opportunities. Of course, not all new things that come into our lives are good for us or prove beneficial. In the end we find out that we've lost something valuable with the old tried and true we've tossed out for the new. Makes me think of smiling people with wagging tongues that come in and tell you all about the new and amazing things they can do in your life and how you can't live without them - to find out they were NOTHING like the excellent, dutiful and faithful people you already had in your life. All talk, but no substance.

Don't get me wrong, NEW is great. I think we should all live our lives in one direction - forward. It's the only way we're going - so we might as well get acclimated to the idea. However, we don't need to be in such a hurry to toss away what we have to make room for everything new that comes down the pipe, as if to say we can't obtain the new with what we already have. We need to remind ourselves of the story of the man who had so much that he tore down the barns he already had to build bigger ones to make room for the new stuff he thought he had to have in his life. God called that man a fool. There's a lot of wisdom in that. Success isn't about what we have, who we know, or who knows us, but WHO we are regardless of all that.

It's often said that the man with the most toys in the end - wins. What does he win? The prize for being the biggest fool? Sometimes our greatest treasures aren't what we can get, or even what great opportunities become available to us - but in what we already have. Most often what we already have is highly unappreciated - especially when it comes to the people in our lives.

Not everybody that says they're a friend is a true friend. There may be some true emotions involved, but emotions change from day to day, experience to experience, and level to level. With it, most friendships also change, at least those that are only viable in the emotional realm. True friends are steady unmovable rocks. They may react in emotion, but they work through those flows and ebbs, building character and trust; strengthening the bonds between each other. They know how to forgive and to apologize, to encourage and rebuke.

Many people come in and out of my life, because I'm in constant motion. As I move, different opportunities present themselves bringing the different people with them. Some the world would consider inconsequential, while others enjoy a celebrity status. Years ago, when I barely valued myself, I would have endowed the celebrity with higher enthusiasm than the regular Joe, but not today. I've matured and learned to love myself and see the value in who I am, and realize what character traits I value in other people - honesty and integrity above all.

I know both rich and poor, unknown and famous, inexperienced and successful, students and scholars, titled and untitled, and among them all I have made many friends. While I may spend some of my time getting to know the new acquaintances in my life, I don't throw away the wonderful, valuable and precious jewels in the true friends I already have. I'm not impressed with titles, money, status, prestige or celebrity - in fact those are the ones I'm most wary and often pity. I've seen many with my own eyes lose sight of what's really important in life chasing after the wind - but as Ecclesiastes reminds me - it's all meaningless.

I'm a writer striving for success and I'm a good business woman - but I don't measure my success on the number of book sales, dollars earned, celebrity endorsements, or acceptance by the populace and popular prestige. I measure success in the many letters I receive from readers who've been encouraged by the words I've written or found inspiration by my example to write their own. Writing makes me happy, so whether I reach 'worldly' success or not, I'm already successful. I thank God for the friends I have in my life who pray for me, lift me up, encourage me when I'm down, remind me when I've been living in the clouds too long, rebuke me when I'm out place, bring me soup when I'm sick, tell me the truth especially when it hurts, and stuck around long enough to get to know me and my character.

Now, where can I get a new pair of shoes!!!

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Answered Questions

2011-12-06T10:35:00.000-05:00

I love getting answers when I ask questions. It's one of the greatest loves of my life - finding answers, solving mysteries, going on quests, seeking revelations and finding them. I'm the Indiana Jones of intellectual enlightenment. However, not all knowledge is wisdom. Not all information is beneficial. BUT all revelation leads to power. Hopefully I can do an acceptable job in trying to explain what I mean.

In my prayer-time meditation this morning I pondered the question concerning the identity of Jesus when He walked on the earth. I wondered if He knew who He really was and that no matter what came into His life He wouldn't be alone. I mean, those are really the two things I struggle with most in my quest for enlightenment and peace - wanting to know who I am and if I'm alone. Did Jesus know He was part of something bigger; something better? If so, how did He know? Was He just a man, or more than a man? If so, how much different was He than we? Could He comprehend more - being finite yet knowing the infinite?

My greatest achievement is overcoming my humanity, but it's also my greatest weakness. Yet, isn't it also our greatest strength? Though Jesus was flesh, He wasn't human - or was He? As the story goes, He overcame the flesh and all it's temptations - but did He do it knowing who He was? I'm not making light of His plight or sacrifice - but perhaps His strength to overcome came from Him knowing who He was.

Doubt weakens me. Fear weakens me. My strength is knowing who I am, what I'm capable of achieving, and to whom I belong. My weakness comes from a lack of knowing; uncertainty. These are the things I need help with most. I'm not the only begotten Son of God. I have no power, prestige or position of my own. I only have limited knowledge, faith and understanding of "the" Truth. Revelations into these things are what I need most from God. This is what He came to give me - strength that I didn't have before and an identity I didn't know before; to journey on a quest of allowing information to become revelation - that is my salvation.

Those are the questions that fluttered through my heart this morning. This is the answer I received in reply: When I first read this passage, I didn't understand what it had to do with my question, but slowly and surely the revelation of the answer revealed itself.

Mark 6:1-6 -This is the story where Jesus and His disciples went to Nazareth, his hometown, to minister. When he entered the synagogue the people were astonished at his power, knowledge and wisdom.
²And on the Sabbath He began to teach in the synagogue; and many who listened to Him were utterly astonished, saying, Where did this Man acquire all this? What is the wisdom [the broad and full intelligence which has been] given to Him? What mighty works and exhibitions of power are wrought by His hands! (AMP)

What does this have to do with what I've been talking about? How does this answer the questions I posed? The answers lay within the Nazarene's own words. The people, having seen Jesus grow up among them, saw Him for who they thought He was, based on information they knew, and were not opened to revelation. With their own tongues they called him "Man". Jesus was rejected by His own community because they failed to recognize His true identity. His power was released with the revelation and knowledge of who He was - being able to see He wasn't a mere human, but the Messiah - the Son of God - and who had all authority and power that came with that identity. Knowledge was both their power and weakness; power through revelation, yet weakness through unbelief. They called him "Man"; He called himself "Prophet". He knew who He was. The release of His power was contingent on the amount of their belief. Belief comes from revelation of information and it's understanding. The more information - the more understanding. The more understanding - the more revelation. The more revelation - the more belief. The more belief - the more power. This example is also paralleled with many other stories told by Jesus: the Centurion with the sick daughter, the woman with the issue of blood, the woman and eating the crumbs from the table,etc.

So, in answer to my initial questions: No, Jesus was not just a man - He was the Son of God. He had great power because of who He was - and we have access to His power when we receive the revelation of that information. Knowing who He was endowed Him with the strength and power He needed to accomplish His mission - and through Him, He offers the same opportunity to us all.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

My First Screenplay

2011-12-05T16:55:00.001-05:00

I never really had any interest in writing screenplays, I've always tried to stay close in the land of fiction novels. It seems like once I get in the groove of a great fictional story, something comes along and pulls me out - like when I'm asked to edit a non-fiction, ghost-write an inspirational teaching series, work on a memoir or autobiography, design and manage a newsletter, or produce a news article for an online magazine. I don't mind these things, but they don't make my heart palpitate hard against my chest. They don't cause goosebumps to pop up all over my arms or send the hairs on the back of my neck into full attention.

Needless to say, when writer/producer Elise Dimitria Bowman of CINIGI Lighthouse first approached me about writing a screenplay, I was very reluctant. Part of me was asking, "Why can't SHE just write one if she's so interested in my work?" With an already OVER-EXTENDED schedule, I just couldn't fathom the time, energy or desire to do it properly and so became almost hard-hearten to the opportunity. Today, I'm glad she didn't give up on me. I'm so thankful she insisted I participate in her Intro to Screenwriting Workshops because I'm finding that writing screenplays offers me the same excitement that my fiction novels provide, at least when it comes to adapting one of my own novels.

I still have an over-extended schedule and it has caused this screenplay to be slow progressing, but it is progressing none-the-less. I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, enough so that I'm doing what I can to remove some of my other responsibilities to make a little more time for this new-found love in my life. I know I have a long way to go and lot more to learn, but now I'm not so squeamish to give it a shot. Maybe because she's a great teacher more than I'm an eager learner.

I still don't know what Ms. Bowman's role will play in my life, but if it never goes any further than what it has already, she's been an important inspiration to me.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Magnitized

2011-12-01T12:18:00.000-05:00

I'm a very blessed person and have a colorful pallet of people in my life I am privileged to call friends. I couldn't say that 10 years ago, and couldn't even fathom the possibility 20 years ago, but something amazing has happened in and through me over these last few decades.

Have you ever smashed a magnet and then thrown the broken shards into a pile of other broken shards of metal objects? You get quite a reaction. Some parts cling together while other parts are separated as the polarizing effects of the magnetization fight for dominance. That was me growing up. I was a broken piece of magnet thrown amongst shards of metal. While there were always bits of metal that liked to cling to me, sort of like that children's game where you took the magnetized wand and moved the black pieces around a huge face to make funny hair and beards, the largest portion of me repelled everything around me. In an effort to put myself together I became coated with superglue, and as a result created a protective shield to keep anything from sticking.

Now I find that I'm made whole again, no superglue and no sharp edges. I still have a few cracks in me, but they too are beginning to fade. I also find that I'm equally able to draw and repel people in my life.

I look around me and see that I'm not just surrounded by like-minded people, or people with the same interests, talents or vocations. Many have differing political, religious and social views from me and each other, but somehow there's still an attraction. I have friends that are actors, writers, screenwriters, Pastors, world-wide evangelists, producers, publishers, business leaders, store clerks, waiters, politicians, activists, retirees, teachers, bus drivers, police officers, community volunteers, aide workers, nurses, lawyers, reviewers, reporters, bloggers, singers, musicians (got a house full of those), factory workers, electricians, buyers, sellers, jewelry makers. I have friends who have similar interests and beliefs, and those who don't. I freely speak, socialize and admire an array of diversity: such as liberals, conservatives, Christians, Jews, Agnostics, gays, straights, blacks, whites, and everything in-between, and much more. I can put a name and face to each of those descriptions and still wouldn't cover everyone.

There was a time in my life when I surrounded myself with only those who were like me, or who thought the same as me - but I found myself most often alone. Friends aren't people who agree with you - they're people who share who they truly are with you. They're not afraid to speak their mind for fear of your judgement or acceptance. That's not a friend. A friend loves you. They don't have to agree with you, they don't even have to believe and have faith in the same things you do. It's not a contest of who is right and who is wrong. We're human - sometimes we're both. You be who you are - 100% honest, truthful and open - and allow them to do the same - and you'll be surprised at how many friends you attract. Enjoy and learn from the diversity instead of allowing fear to keep you in your little boxes.

If you want friends in your life - show yourself friendly. If you want honesty in your life - be honest. What's amazing is that I still believe the same things I believed 10 years ago, but I don't live in a little box anymore and I have a lot more friends. Don't get me wrong - not everybody likes me. I'm as equally repellent to dishonest, angry, depressed and judgmental people - they can't stand to be around me, and that's just fine. I love my friends. You know who you are.

Look around and see who surrounds you - if you look close enough you might just get a glimpse at who you really are, not who you think you are. Now that's a scary thought!

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Don't Worry - Be Happy

2011-11-29T13:25:00.000-05:00

Ever since I became a Christian almost 20-years ago I've been taught, told and preached the concept of "Don't Worry - Be Happy" as if it were a decision as easily made as choosing between a pair of identical socks. But I find it a little more complicated to make that decision. I don't disagree with the concept, on the contrary I agree whole-heartily, I just have a difference of opinion when it comes to exercising the practice in everyday decisions and practical matters.

Sometimes I'll be going through my day, zipping through my responsibilities, fulfilling my obligations and not realize that I'm stressed from the burden of the panacea of things I'm worried about. If you asked me right out if something was worrying me, I'd answer with an emphatic "No". However, I'd be lying to myself - which is quite possible and often the culprit in 99% of the worry people carry.

What do I worry about - whether consciously or subconsciously? Let's see:

Education - With a daughter as a Junior in high school, this is the year for searching for grants, scholarships, and deciding what type of college, how to pay for that extended education and try to draw up a plan and budget to begin the process of fulfilling those dreams (which can change at any moment and then you'd have to start all over). I have a son about to enter the police academy, but first has to take a few courses at college to give him the best negotiating terms to obtain the desired position within the police force. Of course - all of this is without a college fund - and we're expected not to worry about it - it's only our children's future we're talking about here. I find juggling the ideas of responsibility/faith/obligation gets a little tricky sometimes. I'm a great debater and could possibly win on either term - but shouldn't they work together? God will make a way where there is no way.
Economy - With the downturn in the economy and unemployment at all time record highs, business opportunities are not as viable as they were five years ago. The unemployment rate among teenagers is hovering at 95%, while college graduates are around 40%. When the top 1% are closing businesses and not investing in new ventures and technology due to high taxes and an unstable market - that means middle class workers like myself and those in school like my daughter - don't have many options. When business aren't hiring and laying off people, investors are tightening their belts and reluctant to part with their savings, and the political tensions and shallow promises are slung left and right blaming each other instead of coming up with solutions. We're asked to Hope for Change, yet things stay just the same. No matter how much I tell myself "don't worry", worry comes anyway. God is my provider.
Health - With the high cost of health insurance, increase in taxes and the cost of living (groceries & gas) and decrease in pay - many of us have found ourselves between a rock and a hard place (too rich for Medicaid or free health care (unless illegal)/too poor for even your basic HMO) and have become uninsured. Now unable to participate in 'preventive' health care like physicals and regular checkups, I sit by and hope and pray nothing serious happens health-wise until I'm able to get back on my feet. Being over 40, I'm told how important it is to have a regular pap, physical and mammogram because the best defense against most conditions that effect women my age is early detection. Yet, I'm expected not to worry. God is my healer.

These are just a few of the examples, there are many more. I'm trying to follow my dream as a writer, knowing this is the gift I've been given in which I operate best. Everyday I come against obstacles that want to crush that dream. I have to fight against the 'practical' in order to fulfill the dream. A war wages between Responsibility, Obligation and Desire. Each have their own requirements for fulfillment, often sacrificing one another.

It's said worry can kill you. I believe that. With worry comes stress, anxiety, oppression, depression, ulcers, acid reflux, low immune system and easy susceptibility for disease.

So, what is the answer? I wish there was an easy solution I could give you, but I can't. Some things motivate some people, some things motivate others, but everything doesn't work on everybody the same. We're unique individuals with our own strengths and weaknesses; we each have our own measure of faith. But, without HOPE - there's nothing. So, by FAITH, and the love I have for and through my Creator, I cling to that hope with all I possess - my God shall supply all my needs. Doesn't mean I'll get everything I want. My candidate may not win, my child may not get into the school of their choice, I may have do with just the basics for a time, my books may take a while before they hit the best sellers list - but I will prevail, I will overcome, I will succeed and I will rise again. I am happy right where I am - right in the middle of my little mess. THAT I don't worry about. In the meantime, I'll keep trying to work on the other things.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Hallmark Movies - Why I Have a Love/Hate Relationship

2011-11-28T10:30:00.000-05:00

Every year, starting the day after Thanksgiving (I refuse to watch a Christmas movie before that date), my husband and I begin watching Christmas movies, especially the feel-good Hallmark Originals. Yeah, my husband loves them too and he's not ashamed to admit it (at least that's what he tells me).

I have a love/hate relationship with these movies. I hate them on the one hand because they're so predictable. Within the first five minutes while the opening scene tittles along, I've already figured out the major plot, know exactly what the turning point point will be, and the solution is clearly written in the snow flakes that are bound to fall during the Christmas Eve miracle scene. However, I love them for those exact same reasons. I know beyond all uncertainty EVERYTHING will work out in the end. In a world full of chaos, disappointment, struggle and strife - my soul yearns to see miracles, to watch the sparkle of magic and to believe in the unbelievable. That's a Hallmark movie wrapped in it's golden bow.

So, despite their predictability and lack of imagination, I recommend everyone to sit back, prop your feet up on a foot rest, wrap yourself in a warm blanket, fill a bowl full of popcorn, and sip on a large mug of hot chocolate as you sit back with your loved ones and watch a wholesome, magical, and inspiring Hallmark movie. (No, I'm not a paid spokesperson for Hallmark.)

You never know what miracles you'll be inspired to believe when it's over.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Writing - Why It's Better Than Sex

2011-11-23T09:25:00.000-05:00

I must begin this blog by telling you I'm 40, not 20. I'm not sure a 20-year old would understand half of what I'm about to say, so there's no sense for them to read past this sentence. Now for the rest of us - let me try to briefly explain why I think writing is better than sex.

Sex only provides a temporary sense of satisfaction, that is if it's done properly. In order for it to be of use at a later point in time, it would have to be repeated. Not so with writing. A brief moment of brilliance can be recorded and revisited any time in the present or future.
Sex requires the participation of two or (as in some cases) more individuals. Masturbation doesn't count. Writing can be a collaborative effort, but it only requires one person, one mind, one idea and be equally, if not more, satisfying.
Sex requires great physical exertion and writing only requires the minimum effort- mostly from the largest muscle in the body - the brain. For those with physical disabilities, sex isn't an option. With many of today's technological advances, even paraplegics and the severely handicapped are able to express their thoughts and ideas in written/electronic form.
Sex carries a risk of disease, unwanted pregnancy and physical harm. Writing only carries the risk of a bad idea or carpel tunnel syndrome.
Sex confuses emotions. Writing helps to sort them out.

I could go on and on, but I think I'll stop there. I've heard, more times than I'd like to admit of people expressing the idea that they couldn't live without sex. Of course, this is usually spouted from young people whose hormones are raging without much self control, or perverts who really need a lot of help. I'm older now, a little bit more wiser and can see the world beyond physical satisfaction. I too once thought the world revolved around me, but my eyes have widened and I realize there's a whole world of people out there and we all are on the same rotating rock. I too used to think 'sex' was the answer to a lot of things, but having been through many things I've learned sex only complicated matters, never solved them.

Emotions, physical or not, are most often misleading. Our outbursts sometimes are not directly linked to the things we say with our mouths. It's only a symptom of a much deeper issue - one we're usually trying to avoid. Sex often times is usually evoked to mask or ignore those symptoms in a hope of making them disappear. Those stubborn issues don't go away until we face them, no matter how much sex we have. Writing has been the avenue for me that brings those deep-seeded issues to the surface - forcing me to see them, face them and then act to deal with them. Sex has never done that for me.

Now, I just want to make it perfectly clear that I have NOTHING against sex. I like sex. I'm just saying that in my experience with both sex and writing, I find writing the better of the two.

Now, for those whose cheeks are pink at the bluntness of this subject, surprised by my audacity to speak about such a taboo and dirty-little subject - you can go back into your little boxes. I'm done for the day. I bet throughout this day or in the days to come, you too will come across another reason why writing is better than sex. And for those of you who NEVER write - I want you to know I still believe in miracles.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Family Hope

2011-11-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

It's always this time of year that everywhere I look I'm reminded of family, and by outward appearances all these families look happy and healthy making me feel inadequate. But, the reality of the situation and the truth of the matter is that NO family is at it appears. We are fallible beings in fallible situations; full of mistakes, regrets and failures. We are human. We have a choice to allow those human frailties to either define us and keep us enslaved to these failures, or rise out of them by making the right choices to rectify, repent and restore.

If you know me in any degree, you know that I come from a very fractured family; a big family - with really big problems. I spent so much of my life running and hiding from those problems, fighting against their suppression and determining in my heart not to fall into the same traps I've watched family member after family member become victim. But, I can't escape them all. Their tentacles seem to reach out at different times and strike debilitating blows at unsuspecting times; usually when I'm trying to bridge a gap, lend a helping hand or give another chance. Naturally - I don't reach out much anymore; opting for separation as a means of protection from a lot of pain and heartache.

Not all is lost. No matter how grave the situation seems, or how long the separation has been - there's always hope. That's what makes us family. We hide this tiny measure of hope in our hearts, sometimes so deep we forget about it and ignore it all together, but it's there - it's alive and at the right time, in the right season it will begin to grow and produce a fruit.

Case in point: All my life I hated my mother. I didn't dislike her, I hated her. My animosity seeded deep to the point I couldn't stand to even look at her. She seemed a hideous monster to me. I thought she was cruel. She failed to protect her children from a predator. She never told me she loved me. She lashed out at me in anger, blaming me for her failures. She left me to carry a burden that wasn't mine. I had to take care of her, instead of her taking care of me. I only saw her as a selfish monster. When I left home as an angry young girl, I didn't look back and I had no regrets. It wasn't until my oldest daughter became a teenager that I saw my mother as she really was, not the picture I had painted of her - and realized we were same. She was as much a victim as I was, but even worse - she didn't escape like I had. My hate turned to pity, and then I grieved for the life that was stolen from her, and from me.

I'm choosing to build a relationship with my mother. I visit with her every week. I read to her, I talk to her and just be with her. I don't demand anything of her, I don't seek anything from her. I don't pretend the past never happened, but I don't dwell on it either. A few weeks ago she told me she loved me for the first time. That's a miracle. A few years ago when my father died she pretended I didn't even exist at his funeral. A few days ago she had my picture and news article about my new book release posted on her wall.

It's never too late. We still have a very long way to go, but we're much farther than where we began. I can't say the same thing about my brothers. I still don't trust them, and still don't want them in my life. The reconciliation with my oldest daughter holds the largest measure of hope in my heart. I'm not strong enough to give life to that buried hope. But, my God is capable of doing abundantly more than I can ever hope or imagine.

So, when you are spending time with your families this holiday season and things don't quite turn out as you had hoped, remember there is still a measure of hope deep inside that is filled with enough life to see this thing turn around. It may not be right now or how you want - but it's not hopeless. With God all things are possible.

Happy Thanksgiving!
~T.L. Gray

Ps. Happy Birthday, Ricky! After eighteen years together, I still like you a whole lot!

Thanksgiving-Minded

2011-11-21T09:24:00.000-05:00

Our mindsets totally dictate to us how we think, how we act and most importantly how we react to every situation and circumstance in our life. Those mindsets are formed through a compilation of thoughts and experiences we've accumulated throughout our existence since birth. We can tell ourselves to exhaustion that they are of our own making and choosing, but that's just one of the dozens of lies we tell ourselves everyday. We have this obsession to try and understand the world around us, but our efforts are in vain. No matter how much we think we know - there's a large vastness of the things we don't know or understand.

In the spirit of the upcoming Thanksgiving holiday I've been thinking about those people who've been lucky enough to be "Thanksgiving-minded". I'm not talking about being mindful of the holiday. Most of us don't even give a second thought to the yearly event until the day after Halloween. Much like I try not to even delay the concept of Christmas until the day after Thanksgiving (though that gets harder and harder to do when commercials, stores and businesses all around me start advertising, celebrating and reminding us earlier and earlier each year.)

Being Thanksgiving-minded is having a mindset and a spirit of being 'thankful' everyday. Having grown up in a large family that never said the words "thank-you", either as a polite courtesy or attitude of gratitude, to one another or anyone else. It took me a few years on my own as an adult to formulate the habit. The words felt strange on my lips and often came as a gesture long after an appropriate action that granted its favor thereby never reaching it's intended target. I've had many people comment to me in my past how 'ungrateful' they thought I was because I never said the words.

I can understand their sentiment, though I disagree. I've always been a very thankful and grateful person. I'm a giver, a helper, and have sacrificed my own wants and needs for others on countless occasions. I just didn't know how to express myself through two simple words. I don't say words just to say words. I only say what I truly mean. Often times it gets me into trouble because I'm not perfect and my speech reveals that imperfection. I show my gratitude by my actions and my deeds.

I'm learning to say thank-you more often. I say it when someone does something for me out of the goodness of their heart, or just out politeness. I say it even when I'm the one who offers help. I say it when someone has wronged me or set themselves to discredit or injure me - often reflecting blame of an indiscretion to preserve the peace over non-sensible issues. I don't accept responsibility for things I'm not guilty, but when feelings are involved - I choose to keep the peace and apologize despite my innocence or guilt. I say thank-you when a door is open for me or when I open one for someone else. I say thank you for a word of encouragement or of rebuke. Both are equally important and beneficial. I say thank you to strangers, friends and family. I say thank you to the cashier at the grocer store even though they're just doing their job. I say thank you to the drive-through employee as they take my money and hand me my food. I say thank you to the clerk at the tax office as I hand over my payment. I say thank you to the parking attendant as I pay my fees. I say thank you to the waiter who fills my drink. I say thank you the husband who holds the umbrella over my head. I say thank you to the daughter to who puts away the dishes. I say thank you to the son who stopped by the store and grabbed a last minute item on his way home. I say thank you to the writers club member who pointed out an error in my latest chapter. I say thank you to the mother-in-law for their 10th reminder of upcoming holiday plans. I say thank you to my God for all He has done for me.

I don't say thank you to receive one in kind, yet I hope that I can inspire the practice. I've noticed that this world is getting more and more 'un-thankful' and turning to a more "entitled-mindset". I find that sad. That makes me even more thankful that I'm not a part of it.

Don't just let Thanksgiving be the only time you give thanks. Let it be a time to celebrate that you're able to give thanks at all times.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Our Own Undoing

2011-11-18T10:08:00.000-05:00

I've often spouted the phrase, "We can't always control what evil happens to us in this world, but we have complete control in how we respond." It's pretty much one of the fundamental mottoes in which I live by on a daily basis. It has helped me work through and overcome some really tragic incidences in my life and I'm grateful for it. When the world tried to annihilate me and destroy my self-esteem, it is the banner I waved above my head that gave me strength and led me to victory. I couldn't tell you how it materialized into the very fabric of my being, I only recognize its existence. I'm not smart enough to have created it; but I'm thankful it was revealed to me. This morning, however, I think I may have stumbled upon a part of its foundation.

I came across a Scripture that at first seemed innocuous, but my eyes kept drifting back to it. This is what I discovered:

Micah 2:1 - "Woe to those who plan iniquity, to those who plot evil on their beds." This tells me that our actions start as thoughts, and then if nurtured turn into dreams (on their beds). Plans are not spontaneous, but are contemplated plots. No matter how much I wanted my abusers to choose something else, they continued to choose to hurt me. Their actions battled daily against my self-esteem and self-worth. The world judged me as unclean, unworthy and unlovable. Just as my abuser had the freedom to choose something else, to cast down those thoughts and change those dreams, they did not. Yet I was not completely without a choice of my own - the choice of how I was to respond, how I would allow their evil plots and actions to affect me and cause me to respond.

Micah 2:2 - "At morning's light they carry it out because it is in their power to do it." When it comes time to act out our plots, we have the power and freedom to carry them out. We all have been given free will. We have a choice to do evil or not. That's why evil is rampant in our world, because people who plot evil are free to carry their evil dreams out. It's not right; it's not fair, but it is how it is. Those of us who are victims of these evil plotters can't control the choices they make - only the choices we make for ourselves. My abuser ALWAYS had the choice not to act on their plans for me. I ALWAYS had the choice of my response.

Micah 2:3 - "Therefore the Lord says, 'I am planning disaster against this people.'" Just as evil plotters have the power to carry out their plans and dreams, God also has the power to carry out His own plots. By their choices and their decisions to act on them - these evil plotters released the Word, power and promises of God's wrath and judgment into their own lives. Without any action on my part, all those who've ever raised their hands against me to do harm and hurt me have succumbed to either death, disease or destruction. It reminds me of a scene in The Count of Monte Cristo where Edmond etches the phrase into the wall of his dungeon cell, "God will give me justice."

Micah 2:3 (cont'd) - "...from which you cannot save yourselves." Once the evil plot is set into motion (given life), the Lord's plans are also set in motion, and there's nothing the evil plotters can do to save themselves from the judgement and action to come. In essence - the evil plotter is the one who set his own destruction into action by this own will and deeds.

I pray mercy for those who have set their minds, plans and plots of evil against me or anyone else. They are set to destroy themselves. I suspect that 'themselves' are the last person they blame for their own destruction. Ultimately, we are our own undoing. I've learned to check myself first before I dare begin to point toward someone else, because I don't want to fall into the trap of setting evil plans and end up bringing about my own destruction.

These brings some other phrases to mind:

You will reap what you sow.
What comes around, goes around.
Do not return evil for evil, but repay evil with good - thereby heaping hot coals onto your adversary's head.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

I'm a Flashlight!

2011-11-17T11:29:00.000-05:00

One of the greatest inventions of our modern times for me is the flashlight. We've humans have upgraded tremendously from torches, candles and lanterns in order to successfully navigate in the dark. We're a race dependent on our five senses - mostly on our sight - in order to make our way around this celestial orb.

I've learned something about the flashlight this morning that I didn't comprehend the day before. It's not like the information is new; only a new revelation to me.

It's not the casing of the flashlight that gives it its importance and purpose - though the outer shell is extremely important in its function to house the thing that makes it valuable and of use. It's the light that emits from the flashlight that gives it it's purpose.

Understanding the above statement has sparked an enlightened revelation that I had never been able to construct with words. I'm a flashlight!

Most of us go through this life with a hope of what the next life will bring; bearing the burdens of our world, braving the elements and holding tight to our faith and beliefs until the end of our days, most often in an expectation of a reward for our sacrifices; a utopian retirement in eternity filled with golden streets and peaceful jubilation.

Deep down inside I've always had a slight problem with this sentiment. Not that I wouldn't want a golden parachute at the end of my labors in reward for my all my toil, but I couldn't seem to find the motivation to modify my current behavior in a hope of a fantastical dream. I live with a hope of obtaining that utopian fantasy in THIS life.

I know the world is full of all kinds of hate, evil and chaos. On many occasions and through different experiences, I've been the victim/perpetrator at their dubious hands. However, I've also been the giver/recipient of love, good and order. Both exist at the same time, and both continue to flow through this universe even now. The only thing that has changed has been how I respond to each when I brush against them.

I've always been told that I'm a light in a dark world - meaning that I am to expose the darkness as I allow the light of my faith to shine. As I click this flashlight on and off, I realize it's function. It's not to expose the darkness - because the dark is already apparent. When the light comes on it causes the darkness to retreat and expose the truth of what's around me, lights my path so I can see where I'm going or where I've been, and even allows me to see myself when I was unable before. However, when I came into an already lighted room, the light from my flashlight exposed nothing that wasn't already exposed before - neither path nor direction. It became useless; just another object in the room. It no longer had a purpose. What good is a flashlight where there is no darkness?

Having a purpose and being used for that purpose is what drives me most; it is the single largest factor that shapes my decisions, actions and reactions. It's not fear from a lake of fire for my disobedience or the hope of a bright utopian eternity beyond this life. Whether or not those are the final consequences - really don't make a difference in the day to day decisions I face or make.

Everyday, due to the impact of my daily decisions, I'm either tormented or at peace. Right now I'm either suffering from a hell-on-earth or I'm filled with heavenly joy. I find the choice is really up to me no matter what's going on around me. In the middle of my turmoil, I find I can have peace. In the middle of my celebration, I find I can be in pain. I can't control what happens around me - prevent evil from touching my life - but I have complete control on how I respond to those events. The response determines my atmosphere.

Where my faith factors in all this is not about condemnation or salvation at the end of my days - but in each moment, each step, with each breath that testifies I'm not alone and I don't have to walk through this darkness alone. The answer to the test isn't that I finish having ran a good race, but that I find what I'm searching for AS I run the race; that I discover I'm a flashlight in a dark world - with a purpose while I'm in the darkness.

I don't mind being a flashlight. In fact - I'd like to be a lighthouse!

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Milledgeville Misfit Book Trailer

2011-11-15T17:25:00.002-05:00

I did it. Here is my first attempt.

javascript:void(0)

Book Trailers - I Want One

2011-11-15T09:06:00.000-05:00

I just watched one of the best book trailers for a book called "Shatter Me". Now, I WANT one. I want to learn how to make one. Part of me is dreading it, because I already have so many things I'm already doing; I've got more on my plate than I'll ever be able to eat, and I want more. I'm a glutton. When it comes to the writing universe, I can't get enough.

So, the biggest question - where do I start? I don't know the first thing about making book trailers. It seems I keep gravitating more and more to movies, mini-movies, trailers, screenplays. Perhaps the printed page isn't my only niche. I guess all my few remaining minutes of the day are going to be spent on researching, studying, seeking, reading, experimenting and learning how to make book trailers.

Anyone with any experience in this area... I'm begging for help.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Climbing Mountains

2011-11-14T10:43:00.000-05:00

While on the treadmill this morning (which is one of the best places to think or read a few chapters of the latest book on my Kindle) I started thinking about this girl I know. She's one of the most talented writers I've come across over the last couple of years, but she's so full of anger, rage and hurt. It oozes out with every negative phrase, every jagged remark, every bitter line - and all with a smile. I know the smile isn't genuine, but a mask to hide the pain and fear that drives her and enslaves her. I'm sure she doesn't think I like her, but I neither like her nor dislike her; I pity her because I used to be her. I distance myself from her because she’s on a mountain I've already climbed; an obstacle behind and below me, and one I'll never allow myself again to climb its ledges.

My thoughts quickly brushed over the many mountains I've already climbed, the peaks I've reached and the valleys I've marched through. It brought me back to one particular climb where I stumbled upon a great revelation about myself and my journey. I was struggling up the side of this one particular peak; I was angry, frustrated and twisted into a really tight knot. I was tired. I kept looking down at the ground behind me, irritated I had been forced to walk through this particular valley below me in the first place. It wasn't fair for me to be there. In fact, it wasn't fair I've had to walk through so many ugly places. Why couldn't I walk through a beautiful meadow instead of a dark dangerous wood? Why did my mountainside have to be so tall, so jagged, and so hard to climb? Where were my rolling hills with finely etched paths and sweet-smelling flowers? Why couldn't I be Cinderella or Snow White and have a Prince Charming reach down from my mountain's precipice and pull me to safety and save me heartache, calluses, scars and muscle strain?

A voice echoed in the wind, "There is no Prince Charming; there's only you. You're the only person who can get you to the top of this mountain. The only person you'll meet on its peak is yourself. So, who are you? Who will you meet when you get to the top? Will you be strong? Will you be content? Will you be happy? Will you be victorious? Will you be an over-comer? Or will you be empty, shallow, vapor-less and blown away by the slightest breeze into nothingness? Quit waiting on someone to save you; save yourself. Quit looking behind you, and strive for what's ahead. Live in the moment. Quit blaming others and start giving yourself credit."

It took me a long while and a few more mountains to recognize who waited for me at the top of all my mountains. It took a little longer to discover that they also walked in the valley and climbed with me up the sides. It took me even longer to realize that the best part of my life wasn't found in the peaks, but in the journeys to reach them. The peaks are great; but they’re not the solution, the conclusion or the answer to the questions we seek. It's a small moment of achievement, but it's only brief. I've come to love the person who walks through those valleys, who smiles at the mountains in front of them, who glances up and sees another goal, another destination, another challenge, another peak.

I pity this girl because she limits herself. She’s her own downfall; her own mountain. The peak she’s about to reach will not bring her the happiness, the solution or the consolation she longs for; only disappointment. There is no Prince Charming or Happily Ever After waiting for her, only her close companions – Fear, Anger and Depression. They’re faithful companions; dependable and have never failed to show up. What we find at the top of our mountains, are what we carry with us.

I hope one day she discovers herself on one of her peaks. If she can only see the true beauty of whom she is, which has nothing to do with her outside appearance or talent, there’s no telling how high a mountain she’d be able to climb. She has everything needed to be able to crest an Everest. I pity her because she struggles on an ant hill. Her greatness won’t be found in her talent; for talent isn’t something a person gains but is inherit from birth. It will be found in the walk and in the inheritance she leaves behind. Money, fame and fortune can’t purchase a good legacy. Talent can’t produce integrity or character. Neither can any of these things rescue us from ourselves.

These thoughts this morning are more for me than for this girl I pity. It reminds me of what I’m striving for; what I hope to achieve in this life. These words of encouragement may never reach her ears, or even be intended for her. She may be me, because I used to be her, and the Me Now may be reminding me of the Me Then as a warning for the Me To Be.

Inheritance - Christopher Paolini Review

2011-11-13T14:21:00.000-05:00

***** (5-Stars)
I can't get this hard lump out of my throat. I'm equally happy and sad at the ending; probably because it is the end of a great epic tale. I think Paolini outdid himself. While I know not everyone will see the beauty of his choice of endings, I thought it was well-planned and a stroke of genius. It touched me deeply. Only a handful of stories have been able to do that.

If this is what he can accomplish as such a young age, I can't wait to see what he has next. I'm a fan for life. I see much of Eragon in him.

Publish Post

I can't give any higher praise than that. If I could, I would.

Milledgeville Misfit Cover

2011-11-06T07:37:00.000-05:00

Here is the new cover for the upcoming release of my new novel "Milledgeville Misfit".

Fourteen-year old Juniper "Junebug" Summerville loses her parents and her ability to talk in a car accident. Against her silent protests, she is sent to live in a remote swampland known for its ghosts, prisons and insane asylums.

As Junebug struggles with her emotional scars, she begins to heal with help from six other orphans at Dearborn, a once famous southern plantation turned orphanage. But on Halloween night, she finds herself in a fight for her sanity when she stumbles upon a tear in the fabric that separated the natural from the supernatural and allowed the dead to walk among the living.

Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating Giveaway

2011-11-05T19:17:00.003-04:00

Goodreads Book Giveaway

          Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating!

          by T. L. Gray

            Giveaway ends December 31, 2011.



            See the giveaway details
            at Goodreads.

      Enter to win

The Pursuit of Happiness

2011-11-04T10:59:00.000-04:00

The subject of happiness has come up quite a bit in my life lately. It seems everywhere I turn I find someone looking for it or showing an expression of it. It's had me really asking myself, "Am I happy?"

Immediately the answer "Yes!" flashed through my mind, but then right behind it came this slow, uncertain question of "Really?". It surprised me. Only two seconds before I had been so sure and now I sat there wondering why I was questioning myself. (Don't try to figure that out - you'll get a headache.)

I pondered. If I was so happy what exactly was it that made me that way? After several days of fleeting thoughts, a long hot bubble-bath, and nice warm cup of coffee I realized that my happiness can't be contributed to just ONE thing. It's a compilation of many different things. Not all of them would be OBVIOUS things. Simple things.

Here are few examples:

My cat Pip. She's often a pain, getting into things she's not supposed to, tearing up furniture with her claws, leaving her toys just laying around everywhere so you step on them in the dark type of stuff. I'm not even going to mention having to clean out the litter box. It's also those very same things that make me happy. She's a happy cat. She's loving, she's not afraid of anything, she's spoiled, and she LOVES attention. She's free because she's loved. She's not afraid of her family. She's not hungry or hurt. She doesn't have a diamond collar and eat gormet cat food, but she's happy - and she makes me and the rest of the family happy.

My son Johnathan. (BTW - these are in random order. In no way do I imply that Pip is more important than Johnathan.) My son is a bit on the lazy side and his drive for success is lack luster at best. I could focus on all his faults and constantly stay behind him and pressure him to move forward, but instead I've chosen another route. My son in happy. He's lazy because he loves being at home and he's comfortable there enough to let himself be who he really is. He loves playing games with his family at dinner time, he loves fighting over pop corn, or trying to beat everyone on the video, card and board games. He's a poor sport and horrible loser, but he loves playing. He's 21 years old and would rather spend his weekends at home with his dad watching football or sitting at the kitchen table after work writing his first novel with me while I cook dinner. He doesn't drive around in an expensive car, go to a fancy college or wear designer labels, but he's happy. He dates on occasion, but he's not out looking for someone in order to make feel complete or loved. He loves his music and playing his drums. He's learning to love himself.

Everyday we live with goals and aspirations, reaching out to obtain those things we dream about. But, I've learned that it's not in the achievement of those dreams that makes life worth living; the thing that makes us happy. Those moments are just that... fleeting moments. They're a great moment of exhilaration. But if we live our life in a struggle everyday under oppression, stress and pressure in the pursuit of happiness - we'll miss the moments that truly grant them to us.

I've got a lot of big dreams in front of me and I'm doing everything I can to reach those dreams. In the meantime, I walk through my days with a song in my heart because I'm truly content and happy right where I am - right in the middle of my mess. In fact - it's that happiness that fuels the energy I need in the pursuit of my dreams. If I wasn't loved or love my self - I wouldn't make it through all of life's bumps, road blocks and sink holes.

I thank my family for that. I thank God. I thank my friends.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating

2011-10-18T07:23:00.000-04:00

Times-Georgian Article

Local author takes a break from the supernatural to help teens with dating

by Spencer Crawford/The Villa Rican 10.15.11 - 11:59 pm

Local author T.L. Gray has taken a brief respite from the world of the supernatural to begin a book series aimed at helping guide teenagers through the world of young adulthood.

“Keezy’s 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating” made its debut at last weekend’s MeccaFest event and Gray reports she nearly sold out the first printing. Based on her 17-year-old daughter, the new book attempts to teach pre-teens, tweens and young teens how to traverse through a dating world that has changed drastically with the emergence of social media.

“In this book, I’m talking about issues that are relative today,” Gray said. “For instance, dating doesn’t really exist anymore. Kids go out in groups of 10 or 20 and if you happen to sit next to a guy now you’re going steady. Their relationships are now basically on the Internet and through social media. That interpersonal relationship is kind of disappearing because they don’t go out to dinner and sit and talk to learn to get to know each other. There’s no such thing as courting anymore.”

While some nuances traditionally related to dating are disappearing, Gray explained that new pitfalls are popping up due to interaction through social media.

“Every little thing they do and say is out there for everybody to judge and it’s out there as a permanent record,” she said. “It used to be that when we would do something stupid, like all teenagers do, it would be a rumor for a month or two until the next stupid thing is done and then it would be forgotten. Nowadays with everything out there on tweets and posts and on Facebook and Myspace everything is now out there as a permanent record and somebody has a copy of it. They’re basically living in a fish bowl.”

Gray also discusses respecting one another, self-esteem issues, cyber-bullying, clinginess and other issues teens face in relationships today.

“It’s just getting hard for kids in relationships today,” Gray said. “The book is just about how dating has changed.”

Though Gray holds no doctorate in child psychology or relationship, she does have the experience of raising three teenagers — Megan, 22, Johnathan, 21, and Kelly. She researched the book by talking with her daughter and dozens of her friends about the dating world today.

“This book is really for the pre-teens, or the tweens, before they start dating so they know what to expect,” Gray said.

The book could also be a benefit to parents of teenagers so they understand that the dating world is not the same as it was when they were growing up so unfair expectations shouldn’t be put on your kids.

“As parents, we can’t be blinded to it and think it will all work out like it did for us because it’s not the same world as when we were dating and that was just 20 years ago,” she said. “What I find most is that we parents are expecting our children to respond the same way we did, but we don’t live in the same world so they can’t respond in the same way. If we don’t educate ourselves to find out what’s going on, we’re going to be lost and we’re going to give the wrong advice.”

Next year, Gray plans to release two additional books in the “Keezy” series, one that will provide rules for teenage drivers and another that will offer inventive ways to make money in a poor job market. She plans to release two “Keezy” books per year, one in the spring and one in the fall.

Grays first book, “The Blood of Cain,” tied religion and the supernatural together in a story of vampires. It, too, will eventually be a series and she’s already completed the second book. However, her next offering, “Milledgeville Misfit,” due to be released in December, is a return to the supernatural before the release of another “Keezy” book in the spring.

“Milledgeville Misfit” involves a young girl who was in a car accident that kills her parents and now mute she is sent to live with an aunt and uncle at a plantation home called Deerborn in Milledgeville. She discovers there are five other kids living in the house who teach her how to cope and deal with the loss of her parents, but she later discovers they are all ghosts. Later the young ghosts cross over from the supernatural world to become real again.

“Milledgeville Misfits” ends with a cliffhanger similar to the popular movie “Sixth Sense” in that the main character is left wondering whether she has been dead all along or she imagined everything that’s happened or whether the children she thinks are ghosts are actually real. Gray never answers the question, leaving it up to the reader to decide.

“I take what appeals to kids, what appeals to the young adults and I remember when I was a teenager what I wanted to read about,” she said. “I was fascinated with the supernatural. I loved stories about vampires, witches and ghosts. I think

there’s a reason why you are attracted to those kind of things and, in my case, I come from a very abusive background and to me that was my escape.”

Gray also explained that she was a fan of superheroes growing up and a series of books she’s already completed, but hasn’t yet published, called “The Necromancers” is her tribute to superheroes. She says she’s waiting on the right book deal before publishing the series.

“I like so many different things, so it’s easy for me to move from one genre to the next,” Gray said. “I don’t really get stuck on any one thing. To me a book is just a story, regardless of the genre that it’s in. I’m able to jump on an idea and from there just go forward and write in that genre. Every book has a message, it’s just put into a story form that they think readers will understand what they’re trying to say.”

Gray’s books can be found locally at Horton’s Books and Gifts on Adamson Square in Carrollton. They can also be found on most major Internet bookstores.

Keezy's 10 Awesome Rules for Teenaged Dating

2011-09-16T12:32:00.000-04:00

While we celebrated Keezy's release into the wide world of publishing, we also got to celebrate the birthday of her inspiration, my daughter Kelly, who turned seventeen. To me it's a great moment to be recorded in history. Whether anyone else in the world would agree really doesn't matter. I was very proud of them both yesterday, for both of them are my children.

Happy Birthday Kelly & Keezy! May you both touch many hearts and make lasting impressions.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Being a Fan

2011-08-12T13:12:00.000-04:00

It's been a really long time since I've been a giddy fan, overcome with excitement that the object of my admiration dared to defy the heavens and look upon me with a small hint of notice, as if their acknowledgement of my existence validated that existance. It's been a long time that I've walked around with my head held high, seeing myself as an equal, neither above nor below. When you do that... it puts a big chink the practice of being fan.

On the flip side, having published my first novel a few years ago, I've been trying to acclimate my mind into thinking the world hasn't fallen apart and people have become zombies... therefore resulting in me actually having fans of my own. No one in their right mind would follow me, or even be slightly impressed. I've always thought I was my biggest fan. To be quite honest, sometimes I don't like having to share such adoration with anyone else; I'm quite possessive of me. I've never been one to desire the practice of pleasing others, and quite often fail miserably at it. It's been a challenge allowing others (like I had any control over it) to covey their appreciation for the gifts and talents I've been given.

On the edges of that same coin, I'm surrounded by several people who have very healthy fan bases, yet they're just regular joe's to me... friends, children of, parents of, siblings of, members of, and very well connected or talented leaders of; I've sort of become numb to the whole idea and concept of being a fan or being the object of facination.

What a bleak and boring world that makes when everyone is on the same playing field. Greatness gets lost among the muck. True appreciation flitters in the wind without any direction.

I've learned lately that I can truly admire someone's gifts and talents without actually liking them. So, if it's true for me... then it must be true for everyone else. So, my zombie theory is rapidly desintergrating and I'm coming to appreciate my fans. I'm also getting a bit excited about returning to the practice and exercise of being a fan myself. It's time to pull the pins out of my hair and let it blow in the breeze, and give appreciation something to grasp onto.

So, I smile today... as a FAN. I received a tweet response from actor Paul Bettany, whose talent and humor I highly admire. I once again felt like that young girl in 3rd grade getting a letter from news anchor Glen Burns as a response to a class project, or at 13 getting to meet Duran Duran back in 1985, or when I received an autographed picture and letter from actor Michael Rosenbaum thanking me for my Smallville reviews in 2002, or meeting and giving a copy of my book to all 10 cast members of the Vampire Diaries last year, meeting actor Gil Gerard at the grocery store, or meeting and talking to best-selling authors like D.J. MacHale, Julie Kagawa, Cinda Chima Williams, Charlene Harris, Garth Nix, etc.

I'm constantly surrounded by great talent and even greater celebrity, and somewhere among all that greatness I lost my sense of fandom. So, I'd like to take this moment and let these great talented people know that I highly admire their work, their gifts and their talent. I might not like them all as people, but I'm a huge fan of their work.

Drowning

2011-08-04T15:20:00.002-04:00

Ever dreamt you were at the bottom of the ocean? You can see the shimmering sliver of light above you, but no matter how much you kick your feet and tread water, you just can’t reach the top? You’re lungs are about to burst from holding the small pocket of air, feeling every little bubble press against your chest, screaming for release and refill? You begin to lose consciousness and get confused, not knowing up and down until blackness swarms in as you open up your mouth and inhale.

In the past when I had dreamt of being underwater and felt the pressure of airless lungs, I’m somehow was able to find the supernatural ability to breathe beneath the surface, commanding, combining and extracting the small pockets of oxygen. But, recently my dreams have changed and my superpower of underwater breathing fails me… and I’m drowning.

Now, for those intent on interpreting this dream - I believe I already know its meaning and there isn’t a thing I can do about it.

I’ve always enjoyed my dreams, even the scary ones because the story always ended with a sense of empowerment and victory. No matter how evil the monster, I always won. I’ve always contributed this to the spirit to fight and overcome adversity that dwelled within me, always assuring victory, reminding me of the truly evil obstacles I’ve overcome in the past. I really have climbed some tall mountains; some that would have destroyed and defeated your average person. Sometimes, I’m still in awe at some of them, knowing that I could never have overcome them on my own.

Yet, here I find myself, really for the first time in my life feeling spent. I’ve been on the battlefield for so long, and fought so many enemies, struggled through so many wars… I’m tired. The war still rages around me, but I don’t have the strength anymore to pick up my sword. I know if I don’t fight, the enemies that surround me will strike me down. My standard billows behind me, acknowledging my position, yet I don’t move. When I was young, the passion to fight and the dream of Camelot filled my head. The ugliness of the world I saw around me didn’t have to be the world in which I lived. I could change it, one small step at a time. Where did my passion and my fight go? I sit here and see Camelot filled with swords as the battle rages around me. So much death; so much carnage. Yet, I know there’s a land flowing with milk and honey at the end of the battle, a fortress, a place of rest filled with love and peace; at least until the next army of enemies comes and a new fight breaks out to protect; to defend; to conquer.

I’m as Jonah… my spirit to fight has left me and I don’t want to continue the mission of God. I have boarded a boat going in the opposite direction, the storm has come, and I find myself in the belly of big whale that carries me into the depths. I don’t know if I can change my heart and be spit out onto dry ground. Why not just remain in the belly of this whale, in the darkness, in the water’s depth until no more air, no more breath, no more struggles? My spirit is willing, but my flesh is just plain worn out!!!! Some will say, “Think of others”. I don’t want to think of anything. I can’t save the world. It’s not my job. I can’t even save myself, I’ve not the power.

I’m a puppet in this play, just like everyone else. I used to dream of string-less adventures, but now I just want to be cut loose and placed in a box. I don’t want to entertain anymore. I don’t want to dream; dreaming hurts. The puppet master doesn’t need me to complete the performance; he has plenty of others to fulfill his demands.

Whether a fallen knight, a runaway prophet or a useless puppet… I’m spent. Unless the King, the God or the puppet master lifts me up, I can’t move. Unless He fills me with new breath, I can’t breathe.

Passion Vs. Compassion

2011-07-29T13:04:00.003-04:00

The word passion means:

often capitalized a : the sufferings of Christ between the night of the Last Supper and his death b : an oratorio based on a gospel narrative of the Passion

obsolete : suffering

: the state or capacity of being acted on by external agents or forces

a (1) : emotion passion is greed> (2) plural : the emotions as distinguished from reason b : intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction c : an outbreak of anger

a : ardent affection : love b : a strong liking or desire for or devotion to some activity, object, or concept c : sexual desire d : an object of desire or deep interest

The word compassion means:

: sympathetic consciousness of others' distress together with a desire to alleviate it.

In more simplistic terms, passion is a feeling and compassion is an active and conscious decision to alleviate distress (hunger, suffering, imprisonment, danger, pain, etc.). What’s the difference? Though we (humans) are filled with emotions and those emotions often dictate our reactions and responses, they do not rule us. We always have a choice to give into our passions and desires, or overcome them. However, compassion isn’t an emotional response, but a conscious pattern of thought where we use our intellect to assess a situation, event or conflict and see a path of deliverance.

You see, it’s passionate to see a hungry child and feed it. We react out of our passion; our feelings. However, when we assess their situation and use our intellect to see a way to alleviate that child’s hunger in the long run; that’s compassion. Compassion isn’t devoid of passion, but sometimes, and often many times, passion is devoid of compassion.

Passion creates a social system that will put a band-aid over an open sore. Compassion understands there are infectious bacteria inside the sore and needs an antibiotic, but also needs a lesson in prevention. Compassion understands that we can’t stand around every day and continue to throw band-aids at the diseases that plague our society.

One of the common arguments I hear is: “Parent’s aren’t teaching their children basic sanitary practices, which lead to the spread of disease, therefore it’s OUR responsibility to care for these sick children AND their ignorant parents.” That’s passion speaking.

Compassion will say, “While we treat children with infections, we teach them how to clean THEMSELVES to prevent the spreading of further infection. For a trial period, we help the parents get on their feet and give them an opportunity to SHOW (their words and promises mean nothing) so they can be responsible.”

Doing something for someone isn’t helping them; it handicaps and enslaves them.

I found myself in my early twenties as a single mom with two babies and unable to pay my bills. I applied for welfare and within a few days received my first AFDC check, Medicaid for myself and my children, and a book of food stamps. I can’t tell you what a relief it was that I was able for the first time to pay my rent, on time. That lasted for a couple months until I began to look for steady regular work. I enjoyed the few weeks I got to be home with my babies without worrying whether I was going to be homeless and someone in a pencil skirt and jacket would show up and take my kids away from me because I couldn’t take care of their basic needs. Now they could eat, sleep and see the doctor in relative comfort. I bought their governmental promises, hook, line and sinker, at least until the rose colored glasses slid down my nose.

Though I had graduated high school and had a few quarters of college under my belt, I wasn’t qualified for any high paying jobs. In the area I lived, it consisted mostly of service jobs – nursing homes and restaurants. So, my options were limited – wait tables or clean bottoms. I applied to the nursing home and got a job as a nursing assistant making minimum wage. I had to start somewhere. I was very proud of myself. I knew things would be really tight because the cost of daycare would take over half my paycheck each week, but combined with my AFDC and Food Stamps, I could see a path out of the deep well of despair within a year. This welfare thing was GREAT! However, that dream shattered when I called my caseworker and shared with her the news of my new job! That’s the moment I realized I had iron shackles around my ankles.

To continue to receive AFCD, Food Stamps and Medicaid, I couldn’t have a job. They would deduct what I earned from my check, require me to obtain my own medical insurance plan and reduce my food stamps. I couldn’t even buy a car to get me back and forth to work, because they’d have to deduct the value of the vehicle from my benefits.

I didn’t see the benefit of my benefits anymore. It seemed like the same method pimps used to keep prostitutes under submission and in service, where the pimps (government) got them(women, children) addicted and dependent on the drugs (benefits) to keep them in enslaved service (keep the programs running & use as a political tool).

I only had a few choices in front of me: Submit to this form of slavery, like most of my neighbors in the housing projects and trailer parks where I lived, and teach this slave mentality to my children. OR, lie and risk going to jail for perjury and theft and lose my children. OR, struggle for a LONG time choosing to work two jobs and allow daycare and babysitters to raise my children for a while until I could get to a point where only one job was needed. I didn’t have to have the best, but my kids deserved the best. I worked hard for three years, forgot about ALL of MY wants because I was responsible for my situation and to supply the needs of my children.

I climbed out the bottomless well I once found myself. It was hard; the hardest thing I ever did. I did it without any government help, all the while paying my taxes (which I could have really used), and reminded myself daily that I deserved better, and so did my kids. I wasn’t rich, but I was free. Most of all, my children respected me and were taught the pride of honest living. They know that if they want to accomplish anything in this world, they’d have to do it themselves, not expect someone to do it for them or hand it out to them. They have seen firsthand the results of a handout.

My children are not children anymore, they’re all adults. I’ve had many successes in my life since that bleak period. I’ve moved up the corporate ladder in a male dominated business, I got married, I started my own company, and I’m reaching for my dreams of being a writer and was published in 2009. I’ve already accomplished a great deal and I just turned 40. I can’t imagine what’s next.

I still don’t have a whole lot of money. In fact, I live just barely above poverty level. Yet, I spend much of time now in volunteer work. I help feed the poor, educate the ignorant, hold the hands of new dreamers, and share the gifts given to me with those around me. I look for opportunities to help and to give, but NEVER in an entitlement program. I don’t help everyone with their hands out… Like Jesus, I ask, “Do you really want to be healed, be delivered and set free?” If so, then in my COMPASSION I’ll PASSIONATELY help and lead them to the way or answer that will help alleviate their distress. And that doesn’t make me a hypocrite.

I’ve worked hard for what little I have, and I give regularly over 15% of my gross income to charitable organizations and projects I believe are compassionately helpful. However, I don’t like the government sticking their hands in my pocket and taking from me what THEY think I should support. They can’t even pay their own bills, but they want to tell me how to pay mine. I’ve yet to see ONE entitlement program actually make a true difference. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. These entitlement programs have failed over and over and over and over, creating generations of slaves… yet they expect them to magically start working and changing the world. The government is a plantation owner and the recipients of entitlements are the indentured slaves, and with a slave mentality they think it’s better to pick cotton on the plantation than be free and have to work among the unknown and uncertain where there’s a chance at success and failure. Fear of the unknown is the greatest shackle of them all, and that is what our government sells best.

Imposters, Liars & Thieves!

2011-07-21T16:53:00.001-04:00

Ever seen that commercial where you have this world class tennis player trying to play a game of tennis, but then just everyday, regular people with no skill, talent or record shows up on the court and you can no longer tell the world class player from anyone else? Well, that commercial was about how the social networks have marred and blurred the pool of well qualified applicants looking for a job among the dead beats. You can't tell one from the other.

What I'm discovering more and more everyday with the many people I meet all over the world, is that not only do the unqualified and inexperienced step out and try to obtain the jobs, careers or status of the well qualified, highly educated, extremely gifted and seasonable experienced, but they seem to think they deserve it. Where does this type of arrogance come from? Surely not from our present day leaders!

I understand we live in a society who believes in entitlements. This new generation has grown up being fed the importance of these entitlements so much they can't imagine their lives without them, even to the point of shouting decisions contrary are 'unconstitutional'. The concept of actually earning what you get in this life is being cast by the wayside in the name of fairness and socialism.

I was raised under the mentality that "Uncle Sam" owes you. But, I've come to discover that I am Uncle Sam. When you cheat the government by not paying your taxes, lying to gain welfare or unemployment, or fudge on your income to obtain government health care, free lunches for your kids at school and so on, you're not stealing from a communist or socialist government institution under the name of Uncle Sam; you're stealing from me and every other person who pays their taxes.

In this society with unemployment records at all-time highs, I'm also noticing how high school drop outs are claiming a college education on their online profiles and resumes without actually having one, and often securing jobs that should have went to the men and women who have paid their dues, tuition and time in study and preparation. When these types of thefts (for that is what they truly are) occur it causes an injustice and imbalance in the working universe. There are more college graduates working at low end jobs or unemployed today than ever in history. Many spout that it's the illegal immigrants who are taking all the jobs, but that just isn't true. Illegal immigrants often work the same low-paying jobs that high school drop-outs are barely qualified to hold, while the lying, cheating drop outs are infiltrating the entry positions designed for the college graduates. Just as with the problems with some illegal immigrants, these drop outs feel they are ENTITLED to these positions they neither deserve or earned. I do also want to add, that it's not always a degree that matters, but experience. You could have been a drop out, but have worked hard and learned through experience to climb the ranks. That's deserved and not an entitlement.

The last example I wanted to share that really irks me is when budding writers call themselves "Authors". It took many years, several manuscripts and a whole lot of heart, pain, tears and passion for me to have earned the title of a published author. Yet, day after day I come across misinformed writers posing as authors. The more the title is misused and abused by those who haven't earned it, the more the title itself loses its prestige. Just to clarify - to hold the title of "Author" you must have been published by a traditional publisher (any troll can self-publish garbage.) Posting articles on blogs or Op-ed pieces in newspapers doesn't make an author... it makes a pundit. Anyone who posts on Facebook, Twitter or My Space can call themselves a published writer, because what they write is published on a forum that others can read. Publishing something you written on a blog, magazine or op-ed piece makes you no more an author than going to Taco Bell makes you a burrito.

I'm proud of the educational degrees I've earned in college, wish I could have earned more. I'm proud of the experience I've gained at the different jobs I've held. I'm proud of the accomplishments I've obtained in my writing career. I'm proud of the friends I've gained through recognition of my hard work, experience, gifts and talents. I don't appreciate all the imposters, liars and thieves out there who try to destroy all my hard work, diminish my skill and demean my gifts and talents.

Crazy4Smallville's Review - Series Finale

2011-05-31T22:19:00.000-04:00

            How do I review something that’s been a part of my life for the past decade? How do put I put the stopper at the end of a bottle and then toss it away? It’s a lot harder than you think. It became even more difficult in the week following the finale, when I knew nothing else was to come. It’s an empty feeling; a hollow hole left open. Part of me wants to fill it again with something else, but then another part of me doesn’t want (or doesn’t think) anything else is good enough to fill the vacant lot, now unoccupied. Where do I go from here? That’s the first thing the ending of Smallville has given me – an unoccupied space in my heart that I don’t know if I’ll be able to fill; and if I do fill it, to what degree will the next thing be worthy? From the look of what’s out there, not anything that I consider even in the same caliber. What to do? What to do?
     I have to say that waiting ten long years for a particular event to happen has taught me a lesson in patience, and the rewards that come from being patient and loyal.
            Well, here goes… for the last time!

I love the opening, how they show scenes from the very beginning, the very first episode and hit on all the really truly major points, leaving out the completely useless ones (but, we’re not going to get into all that). Boy, did everybody look so much younger. It’s like going to a family reunion you haven’t been to in a while. There’s Pete, Lex, Lana, Chloe, The Torch, Smallville High, the Farm, Shelby, Wall of Weird, Lionel… and then it brings us up to speed with Darkseid, the Kandorians, Green Arrow, the Daily Planet, Lois & Clark, alternate universes, Clark still dealing with the same issue he had ten years ago – a low self-perception and an over-exhausted case of humility.

Love the DC comic book featuring Smallville on the cover and Clark Kent. PRICELESS. Chloe reading to her son, how appropriate, especially since she just got her own character in the D.C. Universe. What I don’t think is realistic in this scene is that a D.C. Comic will only cost $2.99 even in the near future (seven years) the way the economy’s in the tankard. Don’t want to go down that road, so let’s move on. No guessing whose son she’s reading too, not with a green bow and set of plastic arrows sitting on the dresser. Great beginning! OKAY – big ball of flaming planet headed straight to earth! Let me guess… only one person can save us now! Enter theme song by Remy Zero – “Somebody Save Me”. Excellently done! BTW – I’m so glad the network continued with the same theme song for all ten years, it just wouldn’t have been the same without it.

Starting off with the Daily Planet; quite appropriate. It’s been the theme setting now for the last couple years, and I don’t think they could pick a better one. Love the mild mannered reporter, and boy isn’t he being mild mannered! Look at how easy-going and laid-back he’s being when his fiancé has called off their wedding. Now, THIS is not the typical Clark reaction. Lois being pig-headed… right in-line with her character. However, the big speech about why she’s being pig-headed is redundant from last week, and a waste of screen time. I could be seeing something else right now… like LEX. Oh, Burn! He put the decision back all onto her.

Chloe and Oliver decorating the church for the wedding, talking about their own unmemorable wedding, and discussing their marriage. I love that it’s just… ditto. I love to see both of them happy, however I really feel that this storyline just got pushed to the backseat. Chloe has been such a pivotal point of the whole storyline. She was there in the beginning and has been there every step… and it just feels like knowing her story was just a small sideline… makes me feel her character was a bit cheated of the glory she truly deserved.

Tess trying to restore the Luthor mansion? Let it stay destroyed, right along with the Luthor Legacy. Why would someone rejected and abused by a family try to restore the family name. I’d want nothing to do with it, EVER. Restoring a bad name isn’t going to change what happened; it could only help cover future destruction by the same. Grandma creepy sounds like a broken record. Typical religious rhetoric being spouted from deranged lunatics. Of course, the only difference from her than the rest of the loonies, is the fact that a big ball of flaming planet is headed straight toward earth.

It’s so sad to see the Kent Farm, empty, boxed up. That’s how I feel, as I’m sure millions of viewers. Oh, yeah! You tell him Ma Kent! I never thought he should give up the house either. She tried to tell Clark that Jonathan was always around, but he’s too thick-headed to see that. Boy, did she hit the nail on the head, about Clark cutting out the past that made him who he is… Clark Kent is just part of what makes Superman great; it’s a combination of the gifts and powers of Kal-El combined with the heart and passion of Clark Kent.

Chloe back in the Daily Planet… LOVE IT. Lois wanting to interview the President – PRICELESS. Lois, bantering… nah, nah. Clark’s vows… WOW, WOW, WOW. Great writing. She finally got it… “I’m such an idiot!”

Oliver disconnected all the satellite feeds…hmmm. I know he’s been tagged by Darkseid, but how oh how is he going to get out of this? A ring of gold Kryptonite? Now, remind me what gold does – takes away Clark’s powers permanently?? I’ve always said there’s too much Kryptonite, too many weaknesses and too many obstacles for a superhero.

Clark having a heart to heart with Jonathan? Haven’t we heard this little speech, or something similar a thousand times already? I wish anytime I needed to figure something out in my life that a person showed up in the flesh to give me the advice I need to move forward. Instead, I have to rely on memory and imagination. Wondering whose got he’d tell Clark about his ‘dark side’. This little speech… boring. Feels like it’s taking up so much other TIME, other scenes, other strings to tie. Don’t talk so much… Don’t tell… SHOW. Lois seems to have the same problems as Clark – low self-perception. But, I love how Lois is bringing up remember her family and what they would say. Lois’ vows are beautiful. The camera going around and around the both of them standing against the door is perfect filming. The two of them talking through the door… PERFECT!

Tess trying to save the world, so un-Luthor of her. Now, someone is out to stop her, so typical.

Small country church wedding; perfect. Martha – perfect. Chloe & Oliver – perfect. Lois’ dress… perfectly modern. I would have like to have seen her in something more fairy tale. Clark not at the altar but walking up beside her, to walk her down the isle… I’m in tears. Perfect symbolism of how they’re to walk through this world – side by side. Whoever came up with this scene - I HATE/LOVE you. I’m not a very romantic person, but this was about the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen. Jonathan being there…again… I know I’m saying this A LOT… but PERFECT.

Even Lois’ vows… have the word ‘perfect’ in them. I love how it’s in their minds, and not with their lips. I thought I was done crying… I’ve already put the tissues up. Now, I have to pause the show and go get them out again. Here we go… Oliver handing the gold ring to Clark, and Chloe has to once again save the day! Uh-Oh… Dark Oliver has come to the surface. I didn’t miss the stained-glass being red, yellow and blue when it shattered. Love the slow motion of Clark catching Lois. Boy, I tell you what… that church cleared out quick. Within a few seconds time not a soul was left inside. Clark convincing Oliver to fight the darkness; he can sure dish out the compliments; he just can’t take them, huh? I have no doubt Oliver will fight the darkness and win. Why he didn’t do it earlier, I don’t know.

Okay, now the story seems to be moving into overdrive. Everyone scrambling. Watchtower, Star City, Chloe, Oliver/Green Arrow… “See you in the funny pages,” Chloe said – Awesome. “You need to do what you do best, be a hero.” – Again, Awesome. Clark seeing Jonathan at the farm – Awesome. Is seeing the dead one of Clark’s superpowers? Jonathan telling Clark that he and Martha have done all they can, that Clark is going to have to let Jor-El guide him from here on out – Awesome. From one father to another… “He’s your father, he’ll understand!” So far, that’s the best line I’ve ever heard on this show. I’ve got goose bumps. Family hug. “It’s time!” Boy, you got that right. I’ve been waiting for 10 YEARS! Clark better hurry… things look like they’re heating up.

I’m sad and excited at the same time. I can’t believe there’s only a little time left… and there’s so much more to cover. Lionel got Tess on cold hard slab. Lionel wanting to restore Lex, but he needs Tess’ heart. It wouldn’t work with Tess’ heart… he’d care too much. He’d be just like he was before, divided in his loyalties. “Lex is missing a heart”; that’s been his problem all along. You know, I’ve often wondered about the loyalty of body guards and henchmen. How low does a person have to come to blindly kill or work for someone like Lionel Luthor? Tickle me pink… there’s Lex laid out on a slab. My toes are tingling. I like Tess… I don’t want her to die. She’s the only good thing to come out of the Luthors. Alright… she’s not going down without a fight, and boy is she tough! Shot Lionel without so much as a blink. There you go, maggot. Crawl toward your prodigy and give him your own heart. What soul could Darkseid take in exchange for Lex’s life… Lionel doesn’t have one… or a heart.

Uh-Oh… here we go. LEX is ALIVE! And thank God it’s not some unrecognizable clone. It could only have been Michael Rosenbaum. Anyone else and I’d have protested.

Lois & Clark in the Daily Planet discussing life and death emergencies… splendid. When did Lois get so smart… using Clark’s own vows to get him to ‘go save the world’? What is up with that old-fashioned radio in such modern place?

How convenient that the Presidential Press is a woman that looks like Lois Lane? With the way security is at the current White House where people can crash parties without pause, it doesn’t surprise that Lois Lane can use a false press ID to get aboard AirForce One. I guess, we’re supposed to leave something up to our imagination in this series, after all.

LEX is BACK! “Hello, Clark”… sent a chill down my spine. “You still see it the same way… astonishment, with a hint of dread, yet with a hopeful finish…” I love every line. I burst out laughing with… “seems my father had a change of heart.” Literally!

Lex always has the best lines, like this one… “You know, I used to think it was our families that made us who we are; then I hoped it was our friends. But, if you look at history, the great men and women of the world have always been defined by… their enemies.” He can’t forget his memories, even when he is cloned. How convenient.

Clark’s got a great line too with…“My destiny wasn’t yours to take.”

I’m mesmerized by Lex. “Every villain is only as great as his hero.” I know I’ve said this a thousand times over this past decade. Especially during the Kawatche Cave times.

What I find AMAZING is that the best advice that Clark get’s, the deepest revelations that he discovers… come from his arch nemesis. Not from his father, not from Jor-El, not from Lois, not from Chloe… but Lex Luthor. This is the most defining quote of them all, and let me tell you… this episode is FILLED with defining quotes:

“I’m not so sure that Clark Kent can save the entire world on his own,” Clark said.

Lex replied, “He can’t, but we both know who can.” SUPERMAN! – unspoken, but implied. GOT IT!

“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Lex.”

Lex’s grin… that’s all that needed to be said.

I’m like a little kid in a candy store. I’m literally tickled PINK. Scratch that.. I’m tickled RED, YELLOW and BLUE.

Oliver going GREEN. Woo-hoo!

Crazy religious zealots – don’t they know that the rapture was foretold to happen on May 21^st, but the prophet didn’t count right… so he’s adjusted it now to October 21^st???? Nuts… they’re not too hard to crack.

Lois, on Airforce One… in the air??? Hmmm… where have I seen this before? Oh, that Secret Service needs to be shot on sight. Who in power is on the plane, if not the President? Is that supposed to be the Secretary of Defense? Where’s Daddy Dearest? I thought he was supposed to be with the President? I thought the President gave the last order, not the SECDEF?

Okay, Clark getting out a crystal… isn’t it supposed to be green? Lionel possessed by Darkseid… typical. Oh, Clark… quit talking… start kicking butt and taking names. So, Darkseid is whoopin’ up on ole Clark, who remembers what his daddy said about turning to Jor-El… and then what???? He just teleports to the Fortress of Solitude? You mean to tell me that all this time he didn’t need the key, or super speed?

Doesn’t matter… he’s there… and I can’t breathe. I know the moment is coming. I feel it; I hear it… and now I see the flashes of the past… everything that makes Clark Kent super… and Kal-El human. My knees jerking… my pulse is racing. This is better than the movie, because I was there at all those moments; I’ve taken the journey with him; we all have.

“Seize your destiny!” Jor-El.

Oh-yea… we got air…. We got attitude… and we got FLIGHT. And I’ve got no breath!

Tess & Lex; brother & sister; I wonder… does he remember how she took care of his clone when he was young? Yeah… he loves her alright… and it’s typical of Lex to think the thing he’s doing is saving someone. That’s his same old card. Ah-ha… Tess got the last lick – by sliding his a neurotoxin that will make him forget… his past life, his time with Clark, his life with Lionel… but it doesn’t change the state of his heart… he’s still inherently evil…and I’m sure he’ll continue to do evil in the guise of ‘saving the world’. How perfect… he’ll be the enemy, not realizing just what a true enemy he is… and thus it starts all over between Clark and Lex.

Clark REALLY at the Fortress of Solitude this time. Is it suit time? I just came down the last exuberant moment… and now here I go again to the next one. It’s the suit rising out of the ground, isn’t it? Yep… THERE IT IS! It looks like the one used by Brandon in the last Superman movie. “Your abilities may be my blood, but it’s your time in Smallville that made you a hero…” I’m balling now… as Jonathan hands him the SUIT, and he stepping up to take it.

Oh, he’s not even going to put in on… He’s going to take off first…. Does the curl come with the suit… HE'S UP, UP, AND A commercial? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!

Plane going down, Lois being knocked around… and now out of the sky… it’s a bird… it’s a plane… NO, it’s a man in a blue, yellow and red suit. Holding up a plane. And wouldn’t you know it… Lois Lane has a camera to catch the moment on film. AND she gets to interview the President. Wait! I thought the President was hidden in a bunker somewhere. Oh, who cares…. Does it really matter?

The world is getting their first glimspte of SUPERMAN saving the world, releasing them from the bonds of darkness, setting free their souls that were once captive… and being the hero that he was born to be. SUPER! AMAZING!

And Chloe finishing the story to her 7-year old son. Chloe, the one who got to see the farm boy become a super man.

Love Sean Astin in the role of Jimmy Olsen. Perry White in the office… “Great Ceasar’s Ghost.” Lex Luthor as President, in that white suit as prophesied by the blind woman in the first season. Clark Kent… clumsy and mild-mannered. True, Lois. It is sooo hot…. when Clark says, “Yes, Ms. Lane”.

The Superman music, Clark runs out of that roof top, yanks those glasses off, pulls down that tie, and opens that shirt revealing the Red “S” on that blue suit…. PERFECT.

I can’t see the screen… my eyes are too blurred. My fingers barely feel the keys of this keyboard. I can’t think of a more perfect ending. I can’t imagine a better close. I just hate that it’s over; which is really just a beginning.

     Kudos to everybody who has been with this series since the beginning! I remember the day I was driving to work and saw the first billboard of the series pilot over ten years ago, and the bubbles of anticipation I had then, and seeing the episode I just viewed… it has all finally come to a full circle, and that anticipation has been fully met and completely fulfilled.
     I thank the actors and actresses who’ve been faithful to their roles for all this time. While many have come and gone, there are those who’ll always live in my heart, and I’m sure in the heart of all the Smallville faithful forever; Tom Welling, Michael Rosenbaum, Erica Durance, Allison Mack, Annette O’ Toole, John Schneider, Justin Hartley, Cassidy Freeman and John Glover. There have been many, many more through the years that I can’t think of at the moment, but I thank them all.
     I thank the writers, editors, graphic artists, producers, filmmakers and anybody who did ANYTHING on this series. Job well done!
     I can’t believe it’s over. It went out in the most perfect style I could ever imagine, and I’m glad. Smallville deserved it. It warranted a classy and spectacular ending… and it got it. I will greatly miss you, and I doubt I can every fully replace you. Superman was my first love… and Smallville has done nothing but solidify that love even more for me over these past ten years. Thank you Smallville. You will always live in a special part of my heart. I won’t say goodbye… but till next time!

This has been Crazy4Smallville’s final review. It’s been fun, people.

Crazy4Smallville's Review of Prophecy

2011-05-09T17:01:00.000-04:00

Crazy4Smallville Weekly Review - Prophecy

I made a promise that I’d review these last two episodes, and with a heavy heart I’m here to keep that promise. I’m already feeling the anxiousness of the series finale next week. It’s a lot like seeing your children graduate. You toil with them through all the homework, projects and extra-curricular all through Elementary, Middle and High School… to watch them graduate and then leave home for college. While you’re happy at their achievement, you’re sad because an important chapter in their lives have closed. That’s the way I feel toward Smallville right now. They’re about to graduate. With much pride, I’m watching them take their last steps until they leap up into a new adventure, disappearing into the sky above.

Anyway, let me get to this week’s review.

I love it! I love seeing the altar-ego of the mild-mannered reporter I grew up loving stretching his legs and getting comfortable into this role. I personally think he should have already made this leap into the mythos a couple years ago, but I guess it’s better late than never.

What is Lois doing? Is she having pre-wedding jitters? Marionette Ventures – how obvious is that? Marionette – puppet master. Easy leap. Oooh, Clark sweeping Lois off her fee to the Fortress of Solitude to tell Jor-El of his upcoming nuptials, cool breeze. Waited till the last minute, didn’t he?

Oh, no… not another power loss for Clark. Goodness, gracious. How many times does my favorite superhero have to go human on us? It’s kind of a broken record. The one good thing is Lois having his powers, but come on… with only one more episode left in the series… I think there are way too many OTHER story threads that should be tied besides this ‘non-essential’ distraction. I hope the rest of the episode changes my mind, because right now I’m really disappointed.

Oliver sliding down into a mysterious cave; Okay… that’s cool. I’m assuming it’s got something to do with Kryptonian symbols like my favorite Kawatche caves. What is Kara doing down there and how long has she been there. Kara is another character that I think TPTB went in the wrong direction. She started out with so much potential, but ended up being a character that I don’t trust her motives – and her betrayal, angst or even devotion (depending on which way she goes) just isn’t all that believable because her character has went through too many emotionally weak changes. Okay, what is the balance. I know Oliver has been marked by Dark-Seid with the Omega symbol – does that mean he’s the balance, having both a measure of good and evil within him? Or Oliver good and Kara evil, or vice versa? Not truly trusting either character it’s hard for me to understand what’s really going on.

Lois with super-speed reminds me of a high-strung squirrel hopped up on Starbucks. Of course, Clark is being all… cowering and a worry-wart. However, if I had Superman’s powers, I don’t think I’d be trying to figure out a story I’ve been working on – I’d be out leaping tall buildings, outrunning locomotives and zipping around the world faster than a bullet. I’d be trying out that laser or heat vision, or at least testing the limits of what brought me to that point with human boy. I just still can’t see how this scenario is as important to the series on the whole and coming to fast end. Not yet won over, but still holding out hope.

I love the ‘gold’ overtones they use in filming this series. It always evokes a ‘warm-loving’ atmosphere. Artic breath and broken heels… hilarious! Burgundy Blur? Really, that’s the best they could have come up with? Squinty head tilt… priceless. I actually think it’s a great concept of Lois not just learning about the ability of super-hearing, but the emotional and moral issue Clark has to deal with every day by having this ability. This is part of that … with great power, comes great responsibility. Yeah, it’s not in character for Lois to ‘consider’ other people, yet she’s completely selfless in her pursuit of justice. It’s the great character spotlight of Lois.

Bow of Orion – I agree with Oliver. If anyone is to yield a bow, it would be the Green Arrow. He’s the only superhero on this team that doesn’t have an inert superpower, but is super by his determination and steel will. It also doesn’t hurt he’s one heck of a lump of hunk. Don’t they make average looking superheroes or prince’s – so that it’s their gifts or powers that make them attractive? In real life maybe, but not on a popular television series. Wicked-cool special effects of that cross shot by Kara and Oliver. What happened with Kara. She’s so determined to get that bow – what could be so important for her to leave that mission?

Kara in the Fortress of Solitude – getting the third degree from Jor-El. Leave earth and let Kal-El embrace his destiny or stay and endanger his destiny? Is she being punished or promoted? This conversation puzzles me as to what her previous instructions were, because she was so determined to do her ‘part’, though I’ve never been really clear on the objective of that mission.

Controlling like a puppet – Come on… it’s not that hard to figure out. Holding water hostage. Winslow Shot – ToyMan – he’s such a childish character… much the way Lois was by running off all by herself. I guess she also inherited a sense of arrogance with those superpowers. Did she not learn anything watching Clark over the past few years – or at least since she’s known the truth about him? All the villains knowing all about Clark Kent and his loves… has always been an issue with me. This ‘common’ knowledge is more dangerous than any rock of Kryptonite. Now, they’re using him as the weakness for her. I can see that common sense isn’t a superpower – either transferred or inherited. Oh, come on Lois. You’re the one with the superpowers… how much more dangerous is it to give control of yourself with those superpowers to someone else. Don’t bargain with them… USE THEM! She should have reached through those bars and put a little pressure on doughboy to call off his dogs… or else zip on over there and round them all up when they come after powerless hubby-to-be? This is a really STUPID move. I’m still not impressed with this episode. Now, I’m actually frustrated.

Oliver at Orion’s bow… I love the imagry here. That silver-white and renaissance font make him seem Authurian. Oh, I love the quote… “You’re not like the rest of your brothers… you’ve got real potential”. Awesome! Can’t wait to see where this goes, although having only one episode left… not sure if I’ll ever see the end of it.

This puppet-geek is your typical maniacal loon. Its characters like this that made me love and appreciate the true evil genius of Lex Luthor. He’s bad, and you know he’s bad, but you feel for him and you want to see if redemption is possible, so you hope for it, but keep getting disappointed because he continues to be bad.

Okay, this power dance between Clark and Lois is really typical and unsurprising. I knew that in the last second… the powers would be exchanged. Trusting that a spineless nitwit to keep his secret, is really, really STUPID. It gives them hold over you, a weakness; a chink in the armor. Clark really needs to round them all up and get rid of them, or else he and everyone he knows or loves will always be in danger. This is a huge plot hole.

Clark back to the Fortress of Solitude, typical. Going to cry and whine to daddy about what he didn’t like. Ah, good speech. Clark Kent is starting to become his own man. Every time he’s given even a small semblance of this speech, his affection for some girl get in the way.

DID I JUST SEE WHAT I THOUGHT I SAW??? Was that a super-suit in that chunk of ice??? Now, my skin prickled and the hair stood up on my arms.

Well, so much for that high point. I can see from the look on Lois’ face… I know what’s coming. She’s going to cancel the wedding because she realizes the world needs Clark much more than she does. That he’s bigger than her.

Very touching that Kara also realizes the same thing… that in order for Clark to become the superhero he needs to be become, it can’t be about them. She has to get out of the way.

Lois finally stating that she’s Clark’s greatest weakness… and he’s hers. Very noble of her and my respect for her and her character just elevated. Lois being unselfish; A very touching moment.

Oh, I don’t really know what I think about that episode. I’ll take a few days and then see if something surfaces.

Well, it’s been a few days since I wrote that last sentence, and I have to still admit that my thoughts are still just as jumbled. I’m still not clear what the purpose of that whole episode was about. I felt it was unnecessary and that it was a waste of time and space that could have been spent on tying other threads. I guess until I watch next week’s episode, I won’t understand.

Either way, I’m really sad thinking about it because I know the end is coming… and its coming fast. While I’m excited, I’m also grieved. I’m really going to miss Smallville.

The Iron Daughter Review

2011-05-03T18:19:00.000-04:00

Another pleasant surprise. I LOVE being pulled into a story, finding a moment to escape reality and get lost in the realm of fantasy.

I loved how Kagawa broke this book into two separate acts, because it really needed that divide to place the focus first on Ash and then on Puck. Of course, while Ash has all the qualities of what I loved about heroes in my youth, Puck illustrates all the qualities I love as an adult. The Iron Daughter has a mix of everything I love about fantasy.

I can't wait to read the next installment in this series and have already ordered "The Iron Queen".

I give it five out of five stars! Definately a recommended read!

Till nex time,
~T.L. Gray

The Iron King Review

2011-03-28T11:42:00.004-04:00

The Iron King Review

I love the world of fantasy, not because it’s an escape from reality, quite the contrary. It’s because of how fantasy inspires the imagination and helps to color in the stark contrasts of our black & white existence. Everything in reality is an absolute. Up is up; down in down and the law of action and reaction remains constant. But with fantasy, nothing truly is impossible. Those possibilities in our mind turn into possibilities in our reality. We don’t truly live as a human being without a dream or a vision to propel us forward into the unknown realm of artistic creativity. Where there is no vision, there is death. I’m sure if you think about it hard enough, you’ll be able to name some of the zombies you’ve met in your life; breathing corpses, people who walk around in rut (a repetitive routine), too scared to go outside the lines in fear of failure, not realizing they’ve already failed. They’re hollow, empty, life-less zombies.

The Iron King by Julie Kagawa has a lively imagination. Though most of the characters in her book we’ve previously met before in A Mid-Summer Night’s Dream, The Labyrinth and Alice in Wonderland, she did a great job weaving these new versions into a fresh adventure, creating an even more compelling and lovely story. While goose bumps didn’t pop up on my arms, it felt nice having a sense of familiarity while venturing on a new journey; like taking a summer trip with a car full of old friends. The love I had for these characters that inspired my own young adult series several years ago, came flooding back into the forefront of my mind, as if it only slept beneath a thin veil waiting for me to remember them, and remember them I did.

Meghan Chase made for a great and realistic heroine, Puck plucked on my heart strings and Ash reminded me of what I love so much about warring princes and their royal quests.

This quest reminds me about a truth I was recently reminded of (you’ll get that about 4am): Life isn’t lived in the moment of a promise or even in the revelation of its fulfillment, but in the journey between called the Land of Promise. It’s from moment to moment along life’s journey that we truly live, where our characters are developed; where our strength is tested. We all want to make it to the top of the mountain standing before us, but it’s only one peak in the midst of a mighty mountain range. Our life is the journey up to those peaks and then down the other side to our next mountain. I think that’s why I love to read about coming-of-age quests mostly found in young adult fantasy fiction. They inspire my imagination and encourage me to keep going, to focus on my destination and enjoy the adventure along the way. The Iron King is one of those books that have inspired me lately and I can’t wait to read the next one. I highly recommend it for anyone else who’d like to take an adventure.

The Demon King Review

2011-02-28T12:02:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time since I've been able to get lost amid the pages of a good story. I mean get really immersed where everything around disappears and the mind escapes into the land of fantasy. No television, no dishes, no laundry, no bills, no work, no responsibilities or chores. Just the adventure that explodes in the mind, meeting new characters, caring about what happens to them, feeling for them and hoping for the best.

Well, thanks to Cinda Williams Chima's Seven Realms series, I've been able to do just that. It's not like I needed an escape. Actually, it came at an inopportune time, but at a much loved and cherished one anyway.

The first book of this series, The Demon King, is excellently written and follows the journey of two reluctant heroes. Hans Alister - a streetrat, vagabond and a marked man with no hopes for a future and nothing of a past to cling, except for a mystery, an unknown inheritance and a secret that changes everything. Then there's the princess heir-Reisa whose future is already mapped, enslaved as a political pawn in the fight for power, until her path crosses with a childhood friend and a villaneous streetrat.

I loved it. I devoured every ounce of imagination. I can't wait to continue the story in The Exiled Queen.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray
Author of The Blood of Cain

Cheap Cabernet Review

2011-02-18T13:00:00.000-05:00

This was a hard book to read for me. Not because of the writing, but because of the subject matter. After reading the first few chapters, I felt like Cathie Beck had been peeking into my life. When the story progressed to where we meet Diane and Cathie starts to notice the first signs of Multiple Sclerosis, I had to put the book down. Not because it was disturbing, but because it reminded me of things I've long chosen to forget.

I so tried to keep my editorial eyes open while I read this memoir,looking for pacing, story structure, fludity, etc. Instead I found a catalyst that threw so many things I have chosen to stash away right back into the forefront of my mind. This story doesn't entertain me, it makes me feel, makes me remember. Maybe not everyone, perhaps not many who haven't went through a lot of the same things or had a friend like Debbie or have known someone with MS, will get the same thing out of it, but it felt like Beck let me have peek into her soul at the time she was sneaking a peek into my own.

I've never read another book like this. I really wouldn't even know how to categorize it. I'm too close, having grown up with a mother with MS, been a teenage mom, a single-parent in my early twenties, and facing my 40th birthday just around the corner having not yet met my Debbie, being and becoming a writer and knowing the true taste of cheap cabernet. Perhaps it's time for my own WOW group to form.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

A Well-Manicured Murder Review

2011-02-17T11:32:00.000-05:00

Every once in a while I go through my 'Chick-Lit' phase, where I want to delve deep into the female psyche and get lost. However, those times are far and few between. You'll never find this gal lost in a hopeless and senseless romance novel, because to me they're all the same. I'm all about action, adventure and imagination.

A Well-Manicured Murder by Georgia Adams gave me a little of both. I love murder mysteries, especially when I don't quite know who the murderer is by the first quarter of the book. This mystery left me questioning until the very end. While the revelation was one of my guesses, I couldn't quite be sure... so it's a win as far as I'm concerned. So, kudos to the brilliant minds of Browning, McColgan and Dunn.

I'm not without my bias. I know 1/3 of the trio that make up the Georgia Adams persona, Mrs. Joann Dunn, she's a member of my writers group and it's my love for the work she's shared in the club that led me to desire to want to read this book, and I'm glad I did.

If you love down-home, good southern humor, with a dash of mystery, you'll love A Well-Manicured Murder.

I can't wait to dive into the next installment of the LitChix Mysteries in Killer Condo.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

I Am Number Four Review

2011-02-04T10:57:00.000-05:00

"While the beginning of this book was fantastic, full of intrigue, curiosity and excitment, the ending left me wanting a little more. My heart soared through the first ten chapters, thinking 'finally, something with some backbone', to losing me short...moreWhile the beginning of this book was fantastic, full of intrigue, curiosity and excitment, the ending left me wanting a little more. My heart soared through the first ten chapters, thinking 'finally, something with some backbone', to losing me shortly thereafter. Not that anything in particular was bad, but I really felt like the 'integrity' of the story was bulldozed over in the name of 'commercialization'. A diconnect happened, pulling me to the outside of the story, instead of having me inside on the battle field fighting right along side John. I can't quite put my finger on it.

The relationship with Sarah was the typical teenage obsession, all about how she made him FEEL, and vice versa. Love isn't only about feelings. The development of the relationship started off at a great pace, then about half-way through it shifted gears into an unbelievable level of devotion and extereme understanding. Where were the real 'human' moments of shock, disbelief, question, fear. It's human nature to protect ourselves when we're afraid, but here you have a character instantly throw caution and everything she's known all her life to the wind... because she kissed a boy and liked it?

Then we have the relationship with Sam. This too started off at a great pace, and had a nice twist with the whole gun incident, but then everything after that.... got lost. In fact... Sam got lost for a whole chapter that covered practically a whole season. Then, suddenly he pops back on the scene, a big battle ensues (which John doesn't even give him a second thought through the whole thing) which he shows up at the end to help save the day, to making a decision to take off on the road with two aliens. Just a week before he couldn't tell his mom "no" when it came to visiting his aunt, but now he's ready to take on the world?

Don't even get me started on the whole Mark relationship. The guy is a bully, plain and simple... then all of sudden he turns into a knight in shining armour because John saved his two dogs? A bully isn't a bully for no reason. There's usually a deep-seeded reason, and that reason doesn't disappear with one incident and change his whole NATURE. Transformation of character takes time. But, even that isn't what bothers me. There are some obvious BIG plot holes when it comes to this character. #1 - why was a video sent to him, and who sent it? Why HIM. #2 - WHY on Earth would he take and 'confront' Henri and John about it? He was afraid of John after the Halloween incident. In fact, so afraid he couldn't even give him the party invitation on his own. He miraculously stops "bullying" John after getting his butt kicked once. I'm sorry, but that's just unbelievable.

However, with these obvious flaws, the story still held my attention, still had me pulling for it. I just can't for the life of me figure out WHY the paradigmn shift happened. It seems like one person started writing the story, and another person who's only read the outline, finished it. It's like some of the best elements of the story were taken out and the worst elements were added to ADD certain 'commercialized' elements to sell movie tickets was added at the expense of the true story. A story shouldn't be written to sell a movie... it should be written so well that one is inspired to desire it's film adaptation.

I'd still recommend this movie. I gave it to my 20-year old son, and he loved it. Felt something was missing, but still loved it. I'm sure lots of teenage girls will love it too.

Till next time,

~T.L. Gray

Pull the Ripcord

2011-01-17T12:55:00.000-05:00

Do you ever get into one of those moods where you find yourself escaping but you don't really know what you're escaping from or to? I do sometimes and find it's a strange place to wander; it's quite unnerving.

It's not always a bad place to be, but it might not always be productive either, and I think being productive is very essential to life. This past summer I went with our youth group to the Forward Conference and their motto was "Life was meant to be lived in one direction - forward." I whole-heartily believe that. That's why being in this 'esape' mode baffles me.

What do I mean by escape mode? It's like waiting for an important letter to arrive in the mail, or a more modernized version, waiting on someone to reply to a post, tweet or email you've sent. To keep your mind off the waiting, you 'escape' into a either a good book, a good movie, a good distraction.   I love my escapes, and often have some of the best times in them. However, while I'm having a great adventure in my wonderland, the world continues to move around me, but I'm at a physical, emotional and spiritual stand still.

What's wrong with that? Nothing, in and of itself. I actually think everyone should take a few escapes from time to time, and allow themselves to detox from the world of our labors. Everything is a labor. Our jobs, our families, our careers, our hobbies and our passions. All of it takes a part of our soul, our energy our very being in order to 'work' with each one of them. I'm sure you've heard the phrase, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."  That's so true, but it's more like Jack's just plain ole' wore out if he never escapes.

Being in escape mode is like sky diving (like I'd know the first thing about sky diving having never been). You're exhilarated by the rush of complete freedom, but you can't stay there forever. Your body is still falling toward the ground and eventually you'll have to pull the chord or you won't be sky diving any longer, you'll be splattered all over the cold hard earth.

What I"m trying to zero in on... is the state of free feeling. Even though you're free, you're not in control of anything while you're falling... you're just falling. You may manipulate moving to the right or left, slow or fast, but you can't control up or down, stop or go. You're going to continue to fall until you reach the ground; the law of gravity dictates this. That's what I find unnerving about 'escape' mode. While I enjoy the thrill of whatever adventure I'm on, I'm still free-falling and I don't like the lack control it involves.

There are things I've been waiting on for years. I suppose this is God working on my 'patience'. If I'm not careful, I can allow my 'wait' to push me into 'escape'. This is not good. Escape is not the answer. It is during our waiting that we do the most important part of our living. If we 'wait' to live after we receive, we'll miss our lives altogether. The journey from one moment to the next is where living occurs. While we may photograph or memorialize those defined 'moments', it's the journey to them that's important. Escaping the wait, is avoiding life.

What it boils down to is this: Escape into brief moments along your journey, but live life in every moment, not just scheduled ones. You'll miss it, you won't know where your chord is during your free fall and life will smack you right in the face when it's too late to save it.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Insanity

2010-12-18T18:49:00.000-05:00

Article submitted for Winter 2010 edition of Impact Times Magazine
Never would I have considered the word insanity, in any shape, form or fashion pertained to me or anyone I knew. I pictured straight-jackets and padded-walls. However, I’ve discovered insanity runs amuck. Having heard the infamous quote from Albert Einstein about the definition of insanity meaning doing the same thing over and over yet expecting different results, it’s only recently I received the revelation of that fundamental truth.

While watching an episode of Wipe Out with my family, I remarked how ‘insane’ these people must be to put themselves, their bodies and their sanity through such a daunting obstacle course. But, in the middle of that statement, I realized these contestants were not insane at all. They embarked on an exciting and dangerous, yet new-fangled adventure. That doesn’t fit in any circumstance under the definition of insanity. It may fit under the guise of extreme, crazy or even stupid behavior, but not insane.

Since receiving this revelation, I’ve noticed just how insane the world really behaves. I see insanity at work, insanity at church, insanity on the radio, television and big screen. I’ve run into insanity in my family, friends and with people whom I fellowship. I’ve even met some insane writers, and how it that possible? Before I received the revelation of the meaning of insanity, I thought all writers were a bit insane, but now I understand that creating an original work of art is anything but insane. However, the pattern of behavior many people perform, hinges on the line of insanity in many of the decisions they make every day. Here are a few examples to show what I’m talking about.

I have a friend who is a terrible flirt. She flirts with all men, no matter their status or success. Being the center of attention takes the highest priority in a social atmosphere. This is habitual for her, yet it never ceases to surprise her that she is inappropriately propositioned by men or finds herself in trouble. The insanity of the situation is that without a shift or change in her behavior, she continually expects a different outcome from the men.

In the political arena, we ‘the people’ are insane. We watch our political leaders do something year after year (they have voting records), all the while promising what our itching ears want to hear, yet we EXPECT them to act and vote differently than they have been all along, just because they said they would. Who’s the truly insane – the politician or the people expecting them to do something they’ve never done before? We forget… if it acts like a duck, quacks like a duck, looks like a duck… IT’S A DUCK! Yet, we expect our ducks to magically turn into swans, and make excuses when it’s pointed out our swans are really ducks. Who says magic is make-believe and miracles don’t exist?

With this new revelation of insanity, I’ve gained a sense of liberty; freedom from false expectations. I used to get disappointed in people because they didn’t live up to my level of standards, or I didn’t live up to someone else’s level of expectations for me. Now, I measure a person by their own rulers. If they have short rulers, that’s not my responsibility. I’d be ‘insane’ to expect them to behave to the standards of my own ruler. Some have bigger rulers than me, filled with more responsibilities and capabilities. Some have smaller rulers, smaller expectations; smaller life goals. I’m happier. I might be crazy, but at least I’m not insane.

Book-Savvy: WINNER of The Blood of Cain by T.L. Gray

2010-12-05T09:24:00.000-05:00

Book-Savvy: WINNER of The Blood of Cain by T.L. Gray: "<img src='http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_hNsrdAB1Xgw/TLtxGkwLOII/AAAAAAAAAA0/TJ-82UC5IpQ/S45/IMG_4766.JPG' width='35' height='35' class='photo'..."

Lest We Forget

2010-11-15T14:33:00.000-05:00

Do you know what bothers me most sometimes with myself and with other people? When I tend to forget my mistakes, wrongs decisions and errors and start running foward with all my might. I fully expect to win the race I'm running, without difficulty, without obstacle, without consequence.

You might ask, "Why is this dangerous?" It's dangerous because I've completely ignored the pitfalls, road blocks and holes I've tripped over, fell into and became ensnared with in the past. If I learn nothing from my past mistakes, I'll never stop making the same mistakes again and again.

You tell me which is better to run? Recklessly and without adandon, or carefully with precaution?

Well, I'm here to tell you that it's not popular or desirable to follow the latter. It's slower, harder and comes with a bad, bad case of self denial and responsibility. We all want to run without abandon, and when we fall on our face, we NEVER blame ourselves. It's always the rock's fault, the hole's fault or the obstacle in our way keeping us from reaching our destination in one piece.

If you're honest with yourself, you know this is the truth. However, I've come to learn that many of us are not honest with ourselves or anyone else. We lie all the time, convincing we're justified in our actions, anger, bitterness and resentment. We have short-term memory problems, but does God? Usually when all hell breaks loose in our life, we contribute it to either something we are currently doing or not doing. We forget what we've already done, thinking and convincing ourselves that we've dealt with that past offense and no longer face the consequences of our actions. My friend, that's wishful thinking. Having a mindset like that is like running recklessly and without abandon.

God does forgive, but in His perfect LOVE, He corrects, He purges, He rebukes, He trains and He chastises us in order to permanently remove our weaknesses, blemishes, blunders and immoral character. It hurts. It isn't easy. But, without carrying the weight of those things that easily entangles us, we can run a wise race. It doesn't matter that its full of entrapments and snares, because through experience, through trials, through facing the consequences, and learning from our mistakes, we can now trust Him as HE guides us through until we reach the finish line.

There are things we sometimes do that are 'religious', because it's what we've been told to do.
Instead of balking about the 'religion' of the ritual, consider it's original purpose. Because beneath the 'religion' of everything, you'll find reason and purpose.

I.e. The Levitical Law to abstain from pork. At first you avoid eating pork just because religion dictates you don't eat pork. If you only follow the religion, then eventually you'll eat pork just to rebel against the religion. You'll cling to every thought and excuse you can conjure to 'justify' eating pork. But, if you consider the reason behind the religious rule, you'll discover a warning to protect your health.

I.e. The New Testament commandment not to forsake assembling together with your brother's and sisters - attending church. If you go to church because the Christian religion dictates your attendance, eventually you'll quit going in rebellion to the religion. You'll cling to any and every reason to justify not going. That's the natural thing to do. But, if you consider the spiritual purpose of gathering together, you'll discover it is for your own personal growth, accountablility and responsibility that you attend.

Bottom line though... does God ever change? Does He ever waiver? Does He allow or overlook the breaking of ANY of His commandments without consequence? Not according to the Word. Whatever you sow, you'll reap. For every sin there's a blood price to be paid. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, a consequence.

So, while I tend to 'forget' my past trespasses, God will bring every one of my deeds into judgment, even the ones I convienently don't remember. Thank God for His Grace and His Mercy. By them both, I have a chance to face/deal with my actions BEFORE its too late. I quit making excuses for myself or anyone else who's lying to themselves.

Crazy4Smallville's Weekly Review - Episode 7 Final Season

2010-11-11T18:47:00.001-05:00

Smallville Episode 7 Final Season Review

Here we go again for another episode of Smallville. Each week, I can literally feel my heart getting heavier and heavier. It’s almost like knowing one of your children are about to leave home to go away to college, leaving their childhood behind and entering into the never-ending era of adulthood and responsibility. We all know that once they leave home, that’s the last morsel of childhood left. I’m already feeling the loss, and they’re still with me. Okay… enough reflection.

BTW – if you want to read an awesome reflection of self-revelation, visit Allison Mack’s blog and read what she wrote about leaving Smallville behind.

Okay, now to the review at hand. We start off this week’s episode with a couple creepy dudes riding in the back of a van headed toward Smallville; wonder who they’re looking for? The Kent Farm… why does that not surprise me. Speaking of the Kent farm… ooh, la, la. Lois comes trapsing down the stairs behind Clark in his high school football jersey. Needless to say anything else, the smiles on both their faces say it all. We all heard that strawberry loud and clear too. LOL… love the playfulness, and I have a feeling there won’t be any porch swing left when they’re through. Well, maybe there will be. LOL! Nothing like an uptight dad to spoil the moment. Good paced and entertaining opening segment. The whole Lois and Clark relationship doesn’t make me cringe like the Lana & Clark lovefest had.

Okay, my first rant of the night. I don’t like strong women turn into groveling wimps, even if it is because they have an over-bearing and militaristic father. The General hates superheroes huh? That’s usually not the sentiment of military personnel, being they themselves are superheroes; unless it’s a resentment thing with the all the ‘super-powered’ super heroes, and he’s a little bitter they have abilities he’d never be able to train, learn or obtain by natural means. Love Michael Ironside, all the way back when he was battling the Greatest American Hero in the early 80’s.

Love the general’s assessment – “You live in your mother’s house and you work in a basement.” Is that a “Honey Do” list ole Pops gave Clark? Don’t do it, Clark. Stand your ground or you won’t earn the respect of dear ole dad. Uh-Oh, looks like Clark and the General are on opposite sides of this Anti-Vigilante act. Yep, I was right. Sounds like a little bit of bitterness there against the super-powered. But, I have to agree with the General. If Superman decided to wear black instead of red, white and yellow; he’d be a real threat, and what could our armed forces do to stand up to someone like him – other than have green, red, blue, black Kryptonite, Lana Lang, Lois Lane or a bout of low self-esteem? Clark’s only looking at the positive, which is admirable. Regardless, they’re both wrong on some points. They sound like Republicans and Democrats bickering.

Uh-oh… Lois didn’t back up her man, yet she didn’t support her father either. I think it was a smart move. Clark of course is spewing sour grapes.

Oliver/Green Arrow – someone I always like to see, literally. Seems he’s got a little bit of the resentment bug too… with Tess moving in on what he considers Chloe’s territory. I like Tess, but I don’t blame him. That’s right, boy. She’s seen it all before, and so have the rest of us. Eeww… the Suicide Squad’s put their mark on my green guy. Rick Flagg… oohh, he’s one of the guys who’s got Chloe, isn’t he? You’ve been tagged, Oliver. I’m assuming he’s alluding to Clark being tagged too.

Clark left Lois holding the bag. LOL. The fire is out, thanks to the Blur. There you go, Pops! But, that chip on his shoulder seems to only see everything negative. But, he’s still bright – catching Lois in her lie. Who’s calling Clark? Uh-oh, Clark… you’re carelessness has put the General on your trail.

Well, that segment wasn’t as good as the first one; full of too much bitterness from everyone. The guys headed to Smallville, the General, Lois, Clark and Oliver. I’ve got my own bitterness because of Chloe’s extended absence and no one is out looking for her. If something don’t happen quick, I’m going to go ballistic.

So, Clark’s been tag. How did someone 1. Know about blue K and 2. Be able to put it on Clark without him knowing. Oliver jumping out the window was priceless.

So, Lucy is back. The last time her stupidity got her mixed up with Lex. I’m wondering what stupid thing she’s going to do this time. Clark needs to put his stuff up with strangers in the place. Oh, no… come on. He isn’t going to fall for that pathetic ploy. Yep – he did. I’m actually very proud of how Lois handled that situation. She jumped on the right person. But, it looks like Clark’s not being so smart, using his powers at all while others are around. I don’t think he’s upset because of what happened with Lucy. “Still, you can put out a burning building, but you can’t control your hot lips.” Excellent point, Lois. Ah, the real reason for his frustration finally comes out… her not backing him in the kitchen. However, she’s wrong too… bending her values to deal with family. I know millions of people do it every day, but it’s a strong pet peeve of mine.

Colonial Stafford enticing the dim-whitted Lucy. She makes decision of someone raised by an Army General, as if she was raised by a beach bum. Didn’t daddy teach her protocol, especially placing tracking devises on her own father? I know the writers want to drive the point that Lucy’s low self-esteem makes her desperate to do something to make her father proud and to perhaps top her sister in some way, but this is ridiculous.

“Come, on… Chloe would have this finished like yesterday.” Way to drive it in, Oliver. I’m so glad to hear him being so open and honest. I like that Tess stands up to him and doesn’t let him run all over her. I like her more and more all the time.

Clark finished the General’s list. I knew that was a bad idea. I think the General is so used to being able to do what he wants, say what he wants, and everybody around him bow down to him. If Clark knows what’s good for him, he’ll stand up to the General. Especially since he’s talking about Mama Kent. Oooh, I’m starting to see a little ‘steel’ in that spine. Uh-oh, now the General is going after his cousin. YES… the boy has a spine. He might just be worth her, after all.

Doesn’t Lois see right through Lucy? Or is her fear of her father bigger than her common sense? She’s going to let her father just say what he wants, when she knows he’s dead wrong? Looks like it. Oh, Lois… I’m so disappointed in you.

Okay, this mysterious Suicide Squad seems to know all about Clark, but how and why? I know I’ve watched every episode, but I seem to be missing something, somewhere. Has my brain just been filtering out all the information from this group or what? I’m disconnected from them. They just pop up here and there and somehow I’ve not connected all the dots.

So, now Lois goes to defend Clark. Where was her spine a few minutes ago? Anyway, glad to see a resemblance of the Lois I’ve come to know and love. I can live with the little bit of submissive, low-esteemed glimpses I’ve been getting so far all episode, as an extent of her past relationship, but only if she rises above it. Also, where does Lucy come off going all shop talk now? It makes me think of a kid using big words out of context because they don’t know what they mean; they just want to sound smart. Uh-oh, I think I’m prejudiced against Lucy. Don’t know if it’s from past actions, the kiss in the barn or the double-spy acceptance at the gas station. Either way, I’m not a fan. You go, girl! “I’m staying with Clark, and if you love me, you’ll respect that.” Daddy just got TOLD!

Okay, what’s the pen for that was left behind? Flag… was that a play on the name Flagg? What’s up with Clark’s new hairdo? I like it, but it’s just weird. So, Flagg is an extremist after General Lane? AWESOME graphics when Clark saved Lois! Take that, General Lane; your daughter was just saved by one of them vigilantes you’re so hard against. However, he’s still right… because it was some bad vigilantes that were trying to kill him in the first place. However, Flagg also has a point too, he’s just gone too far, like General Lane; like Lex Luthor. Is this going to be part of Lex’s future army? Is Lex behind Flagg?

Way to go Lois for telling Lucy like it is. Good job being the big sister. It is exhausting… Can’t believe no one’s received this revelation until now. Makes me think how much of it will they retain for the next dinner?

Aww… Oliver is trying to make peace with Tess. I really think this episode has been filled with so many extremes; it’s nice to see things being brought back to the middle with Lois and Lucy, Oliver and Tess, Clark and the General. I’d like to peek in your window, Oliver. At least someone, other than Tess, is showing a bit of common sense. But, this feels too much close to ‘good-bye’ and I don’t like it.

See, Clark. Standing up to the General is what garners respect, now cowering. Way to go. Again, we see two polar extremes coming back to the middle. I can see how Clark, after he becomes Superman, could use a man like General Lane for a moral, strategic and courageous leader to look to for advice and direction. It’s a passing of the torch. (Makes me sad to think of another Torch.)

I KNEW IT, that list was a test… but it was for Lois not Clark. Brilliant spin. Love it. Love the dinner. Love the music, love the mood, love the example that shows with a little wisdom, middle ground can always be reached. Then the last scene brings the extremism back. Eeehh.

That’s been this week’s review of Smallville’s final season. Stay tuned next week for another episode of what I think is the best show on television.

Till next time, Crazy4Smallville

Interview & Give-A-Way

2010-11-01T12:23:00.000-04:00

Don't forget to register to win an autographed copy of The Blood of Cain by entering into the 500 follower give-a-way hosted by Inspired Kathy at I Am A Reader, Not A Writer blog. You can also read a 7-question interview I gave. The contest ends November 18, so register today! Just click on the link below and leave a comment.

Crazy4Smallville's Weekly Review Episode 6 Final Season

2010-11-01T11:18:00.000-04:00

Smallville Episode 6 Final Season Review

It being right before Halloween, I’m expecting something ‘corny’, and from the previews it looks like we’re going to get something that appears to be the offspring of Children of the Corn or something out of a M. Night Shaymalan movie.

Okay… we’re off. Lois and Clark are sharing. I’m assuming they’re in Lois’ car since Clark drives a big red pick-up. Although he looks nice in that convertible. It’d look even better if it was a Mustang, but that’s my own personal preference. LOL, Clark fixing the flat tire! Typical Superman moment. Where did the little Amish girl come from? Why is no one wondering why she just showed up out of nowhere? They are reporters, aren’t they? Can’t tell it.

For Christ’ sake, he’s Superman. Why didn’t he just zoom off with that tire and get back in like 2 seconds? Well, then I suppose Lois couldn’t get lost or kidnapped if he had, huh? I hope the episode gets better. That opening segment was a little too slow paced for me.

We’re back. Okay, Clark cuts his hand? What’s up with that? “How bad was your little argument?” So far the best line in the show. It’s still early. So, now he’s pretending to be an investigative reporter. What’s up with this cop? Why doesn’t Clark just speed off, use his super hearing, his x-ray vision? If they’re not working, shouldn’t he discover that?

Harvest festival in a backward village… what a surprise! Why is Lois even there? She’s obviously not kidnapped, which means she went by choice, but why? Why leave Clark out in the middle of nowhere? What’s she after? To get back to the story Clark distracted her from? Doesn’t she know that Clark can beat her anywhere? Even if she did get back, he’d be there, waiting for her. She’s not using that brain of hers, is she? Ooooo, sweet little Susie-Q is showing her evil side. What are they up to?

Alexander’s birthday party? It’s strange to see him being portrayed as a normal kid, but where did all these friends come from? Did they raid the local boys’ home? If Alexander is aging as fast as they say he is (4 years in 3 weeks), then he already KNOWS he’s different, and unlike any normal child. Having him around normal kids will only make him seem even MORE different. Way to go, Tess, for making him feel like a freak. From his little episode of free-association writing, obsessively etching out the mark of the Blur, tells me the Lex Luthor we’ve all grown to love to hate is somewhere lurking inside of sweet Alexander. Hmmm… there may be hope left for this episode, after all.

Clark leading Sheriff Mayberry into the woods (the same one’s he’s probably grown up around his whole life). I don’t understand why he keeps putting up with this guy. Just go already, then do your explainin’ like you always do, Clark. Okay, Blue Kryptonite, that explains the power loss, but it still doesn’t explain why Clark hadn’t already come to that conclusion and had been prepared. Is he that unprepared as a regular human? Doesn’t surprise me that the sheriff got the drop on him.

I love these scenes with Alexander and Tess. So, he’s been hiding drawings. The ‘bad man’ in his dreams… wouldn’t that be Lex. Ooooo.. there’s that Lex attitude I’ve been waiting to see. Lex thought Clark was the bad man, dangerous and a threat to the world. He never saw himself that way. Hmmm, more evidence that the real Lex is lurking just beneath the surface. Looks like Tess let down her guard by turning her back to Alexander. You’d think she’d learn something after dealing with Lex and Zod. Guess not.

Why doesn’t Lois just get up and leave? She knows if she just started walking back the way she came, she just have to whisper Clark’s name and he’d come rescue her (even though right now he doesn’t have super powers – but she doesn’t know that.)? No, she sits there, knowing there’s something terribly wrong, sadistic and evil about her dinner pals, but does nothing. Is she that desperate to ‘teach Clark a lesson’? Come on… I really like this Lois. Don’t make me not like her with a bunch of mindless head games.

The day they were shown the lord’s sign? Let me guess… the meteor shower? Yep, and now poor Esther’s death has led a mindless group looking for ‘signs and wonders’ to go astray. Who’d a thunk it? Okay, it’s officially crossed over into the Children of the Corn territory. That little girl was pure evil. Boy, the children that grow up in those corn fields. I’m with Lois… ‘what’s wrong with you people’?

LOL, Lois dressed up like Kelly McGillis in Witness, too funny! Oh, Lois – you saved my life – moment. EVERY superhero always need saving. So, now it’s up to Lois to save the day. It’s already been proven, Clark can’t think like a superhero without his super powers – at least so far in this episode. Mmm..mmm –I agree Lois. Wait, I have to pause and back that up for a second glance.

Alexander in the barn loft, remember Lex’s memories. Priceless. Their friendship is the thing of legend. Well, being in a new body doesn’t change psychosis. That’s right Tess, Lex is the bad man. Oooh, I love this scene. The Lex I love to hate always manipulated people by using their weaknesses against them. I love it! This little boy is doing a great job of being ‘Lex’. “Don’t call me that, my name is Lex!” Best line in the show so far.

Okay, we’re back in the cornfield with the crazy people. Clark looks good in that hat. Wonder why he never wore one on the farm? Flowers for the celebration… what for? Oops, that red fingernail polish gave the hussy away. Okay, now it’s officially moved over into the land of the freak with the ScareCrow,Sleepy-Hallow, KKK and Jeeper’s Creeper throw back. The slicing of Clark’s midsection with the Death-sickle even better.

So, Lois thinks Clark is dead? I suppose she’s running off adrenaline and holding her breath not allowing the free flow of oxygen to her brain. How many times has she seen Clark come back from the ‘dead’? At least once in the past few weeks. Lex seems to be the only person on this show that doesn’t suffer from short or long term memory loss. However, I do have to say… I’m liking the episode even if it is a far cry from the Smallville I’m accustomed. These religious cults drive me crazy. Don’t they try out any of their theories by testing them? What about trying “not” to sacrifice a girl and see if their crops still grow? Nope… no one can think independently. This isn’t about crops, but about control. Isn’t Lois someone’s daughter?

Okay, how did Clark purge the blue kryptonite with yellow by being buried in the ground? Somehow I missed that reasoning. I can’t believe Lois is just going to stand there.

I have to say, I love seeing Clark with that shotgun and taking the ‘heat’ like a regular joe. Oooo… it’s a sign! You get them Lois. Feed them some of their own medicine! Shove their own craziness back down their throats. But, why on earth does she have to speak in King James version? Clark’s “A-men” was hilarious.

While I found that last scene, inspiring and even a bit hilarious, there’s a part of me that doesn’t like the innuendo and stab at the religious and people of faith. While on many parts I agree with this assessment, especially of the religious occults, but there’s another part of me that feels the truly faithful get lopped into this fanatical group. I do love how Lois and Clark handled the situation. I don’t feel like the show intentionally made fun of people of faith, perhaps even defending them against the occultic innuendo, but I’d rather they stick to the science-fiction and leave religion alone… even the religious nut jobs. But, either way… it was a good scene.

What is in the vial? The antidote to his growth spurts? To stop him from accelerated aging, to keep him alive longer? Don’t give it to him, Tess. Kill him if you know what’s good for you or the world. However, it’d be much more interesting if he lives. YES! She threw it in the fire. Alright… someone on this show actually learns something from the past. Way to go, Tess. I’m liking her more and more each episode.

The believers were able to be led down such a dark path, because their foundation was weak and messed up to start with. This is the dozenth time that ‘stepping into the light’ has been said. How many more times does Clark have to hear it? “Crispy Critter in Hellsville!?” Love it! Still wondering when she’s going to mention her lack of judgment to rush off to cover a story… against Clark’s wishes is what got her in trouble in the first place.

So, glad to see Clark being so open and upfront with Lois. Love to see them finally sharing themselves with each other, but there’s still this part of me that rolls her eyes, because in my Superman universe, he can’t share himself that way BECAUSE of his powers… yet on Smallville they’re not a issue. However, I suppose if he can drink a cup of coffee without incidence, he can have sex. Whatever… still wondering when he’s going to gain the Kiss of Forgetfulness.

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE… the very last scene. Alexander shaving his head, EXCELLENT. I’ve got goosebumps running up my arms.

That’s been this week’s review of Smallville’s final season. Stay tuned next week for another episode of what I think is the best show on television.

Till next time, Crazy4Smallville

Dark Wyrm Reads...: Welcome to the Spooktacular Giveaway

2010-10-31T06:59:00.001-04:00

Dark Wyrm Reads...: Welcome to the Spooktacular Giveaway

Today is the last day to enter for your chance to get an autographed copy of "The Blood of Cain".
So, gather all your friends and get over there and sign up!!!

I can't wait to send the winner their own personalized copy!

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray

Interview with "I Am A Reader, Not A Writer" blog on 10/27/2010

2010-10-29T16:00:00.000-04:00

Interview & Giveaway: T.L. Gray - The Blood of Cain - as posted on I Am A Reader, Not A Writer blog.

Visit the site and let them know how much you appreciated the interview. Don't forget to sign up for the free autographed copy giveaway of The Blood of Cain.

~T.L. Gray

Welcome to author T. L. Gray.

Biography:

T.L. Gray’s debut novel “The Blood of Cain” was released October 2009 from Fireside Publications. The sequel, The Arcainians, is due for release early 2011. T.L. Gray is an active member of the Carrollton Creative Writers Club, Deeper Life Christian Center, and is a contributing writer for Impact Times Magazine. The author lives in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains of West Georgia. When asked as a child what she wanted to be when she grew up she replied, “A Queen”. Since that title isn’t available within a democratic republic, she has settled for the label of “Author” instead.

T.L. Gray is currently working on two non-fiction projects (Joyful Mother and the Mary Perry Hudson Memoir) with the International Arise Conference Founder, Mary Hudson of Keith Hudson Ministries.

Thanks to T.L. Gray who has agreed to a short interview and then has a book giveaway!

Interview:

Night owl or early bird?

Definitely an early bird. I’m up at 6am, getting my heart pumping and my synapses firing. By 6pm… I’m no earthly good to anybody except for making dinner, playing games with the family, taking a hot bath, watching a little television or reading a good book; sometimes many of these things at the same time. Sometimes I can’t sleep because my brain won’t shut off and keeps me up at all hours in the morning. But even with that, come six o’clock I’m doing my aerobics and hitting the tread mill and by eight I’m on the computer. Adrenaline helps me focus.

What fictional character would you most like to meet?

That’s easy, Cain. Not because I’ve written about him, but because I’ve fell so deeply and passionately in love with the character I came to know. He stole my heart. He stole my compassion. He helped me see myself better and the people around me. If there’s hope for Cain, then there’s hope for anyone. I took a one-dimensional damned character and humanized him – having him become relatable, and in turn found a hope I didn’t realize I was missing. As for the Biblical Cain – I’m not sure I’d want to meet him. I’d be curious about him, but it would be hard to separate him from my fictional character.

If you could have any superpower what would you choose?

To fly. In my dreams I can do some amazing things like breathe under water, read minds and travel at the speed of thought. But, the most vivid of these dreams is the ability to fly. I can feel the air swirl around me, under me and through me as it lifts me from the ground. That is something I’d like to experience firsthand.

When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?

Have you read my bio? A queen. I also remember wanting to be a journalist or an exciting archaeologist like Indiana Jones. I got to be a journalist when I worked as a newspaper reporter, and I still have a love for history and ancient artifacts which I sprinkle throughout all my books. I’m still working on the Queen thing.

What is one book everyone should read?

Oh, there are so many to choose from. However, there is one book I always turn back to and I re-read at least every other year, and that’s Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. Like the Harry Potter series, Austen was able to transport me out of my current reality and plop me right into the middle of a fantastic story, helping me lose myself for a small period of time. In many events throughout my life, this book has been relevant. Though I already know the ending, my heart still feels every emotion as I progress through the pages and relate with Elizabeth Bennett. We all could use a Mr. Darcy in our lives.

If you could meet one person who has died, who would it be?

Sir Isaac Newton. The knowledge and wisdom this man’s brain projected was astounding. I love science and history… would be fascinated by his endless discoveries. I adore outcasts and heretics, so we would have been good friends. Uh-Oh, I think I’m letting my inner geek show a bit.

What inspired you to write about Cain?

Cain is one of the most intriguing characters in the Bible. He was the first born son of humanity, the first murderer, the first and only person to be directly cursed by God, the only person to have ever been ‘marked’ by God, but then not much else is said about him. The Bible is silent on the mark, the curse and even if Cain died. I went around for about a year and just asked random people what they thought about Cain, his curse, his mark and what they think happened to him? What I found is pretty much most people didn’t think much about him at all. They all acknowledged he was a bad man, but it’s like he was separate from everybody else, more heinous, more evil. We often pick characters we can relate to, especially from the Bible, drawing inspiration from their triumphs, lessons from their failures and so forth. But, with Cain I never heard anyone give or say anything relatable to him, yet I saw him a regular human being and for one moment put myself in his shoes and questioned how he was any different than me. Was I capable of doing the same thing? I realized I was, and in that realization Cain became human to me, full of emotion, full of fears, full of hopes like the rest of us. Thus, a new character was born. The basis of a new adventure had already been laid with all the mystery that surrounded this man, and from there my imagination soared. I don’t change the history or the facts as they have been given in the Bible. I don’t interfere with the religion of this character. I just tell the ‘rest of the story’ as I see it and I myself can’t believe some of the things that have evolved from it. But, I’m not going to tell you all those tidbits. You’ll have to read the book to find out about their secrets.

Visit T.L. Gray's Website

Book Blurb:Teagan Dacre loves fast cars, loud music and beautiful women, however he carries a secret that keeps him isolated from the general population; he has strange silver eyes, heals really fast and hasn’t aged in over a hundred years. The darkest secret of all – he has a blood thirst that must be satisfied by each new moon.

Believing himself unique, Teagan’s world gets turned upside down when he meets an unruly family of immortals seeking their father and maker, none other than the world’s first murderer, Cain. Everything Teagan thought he knew about himself is transformed when he learns how vampires came to be and for what purpose he was made.

For everything, there’s a price to be paid, Teagan wonders if he’ll be strong enough to pay it.

**End of interview

Getting On Top of This Internet Thing...

2010-10-25T16:01:00.000-04:00

I thought writing was sometimes exhausting, but plotting down a chapter or two on a manuscript is lightweight compared to getting 'connected' on the internet. I thought I was up with the times because I had post a blog on Blogspot, was visible on Facebook, Twitted regularly and kept my three websites updated, along with giving a critique or two on Critique Circle, but I've learned over the past few weeks I'm just getting started. I need to hurry up and make some substantial cash so I can hire a full-time social network engineer to keep me updated. For those teenagers out there who are text, tweet and posting saavy, this is a great idea for a summer or part-time job. I'm going to write that down on my ever-growing to do list.

The last several days I've been visiting different blogs, reading what reviewers have had to say about books they've reviewed, either of my friends or fellow authors. I love the variety that's out there. It's made me realize there's a market I haven't even began to reach because I haven't put my book out there to be reviewed 'internetically'. I know... the word doesn't exist ye, but it will.

So, I've written to a few of these blog reviewers and requested they review my book 'The Blood of Cain'. I now feel like I'm lagging on a caboose when all along I thought I was at least riding comfortable in a middle car. With my book now reaching it's one year mark since release, I now feel I've missed a market going the 'traditional' route. This really amazes me since I'm not traditional in any sense of the word.

But, I want to thank bloggers like Marty from DarkWyrm Reads and Kathy at I'm A Reader, Not a Writer for helping me out and giving me a few tips. If it weren't for these awesome ladies I'd still me looking at my abs not realizing my butt's gained two extra love handles.

I've been putting it off, but I think its time I look into 'Book Trailers'. I've ran across a few now that have blown my mind and I so want one for my book. Do they work? Don't know, but I guess I'm soon going to find out.

Till next time,
~T.L. Gray